Social Media Sin #3

Phoning it in because you think you SHOULD. I mean. Everyone else is doing the Social Media thing! Taking the online world by storm. Or at least maybe talking to people. Via pixels. But hey! Selling things ulterior motive!

No. No. No. This is beaching yourself on the shores of social media hell simply because you envy someone else's easy, pithy style and/or number of followers. Yeah, I had to reach for a metaphor to match my photo. Work with me.

In echo of what Marshall said so well yesterday, the social media thing isn't compulsory. There are absolutely people who have just enough extroversion in their generally introverted little hearts to make the social media thing look easy. But, you know, do you. If watching your Twitter feed scroll gives you hives, don't do it. If Facebook or Pinterest or Tumblr or anything else is a black hole mysteriously swallowing hours of your day, you have a problem and should probably cold turkey that crack.

Here's the rule I apply to me: If fun = yes, then go. If fun = pulling teeth, then no. Okay. There is an ancillary rule: Word count for the day must be achieved BEFORE any social media. Because writing is my job. Social media is a tool, yes, and fun - but it supports the writing, not the other way around. Why such simple rules?

It goes back to Jeffe's theme on the subject: Engagement. I find that me yelling BUY MY THING is as much fun as slamming my fingers repeatedly in car doors. It's off-putting when someone else fills my feeds with desperate buy links, I have no intention of doing it to someone else. Now. Annoying people with cat photos? Or with ridiculous, nerdy memes? Or comically awful nihilistic end of the world scenarios? Sign me up. Yeah. I know. I need to work on my definition of fun, don't I? The thing is a sense of enjoyment translates. If the person behind the social media posts is genuinely having a good time posting, that comes through. And there's nothing like a bit of fun to draw people in to engage with you. At least, that works for me. Sure. There are people who attract attention by posting outrage over this cause or that cause. I'm glad there are people who do that - the unexamined dark corners of humanity could use a little light shone into them. If that's your thing, more power to you. But that's the point: Do what matters to you. Make room for having a good time.

Shoulds are boulders. They'll crush you if you let them.

Fool-Proof Networking! Special! Act Now!

I have very simple advice for networking like a pro! 100% fool-proof. I should sell this advice on line. I'd make millions. But, special for you today - so long as you keep my secret under your hats - I'll tell you. FOR FREE.

Jeffe's Networking Coattails
No. I'm not kidding. Who do you think got me on Twitter and suggested I listen more than I talk? Who do you suppose it was who grabbed my arm at RWA National and said, "Come with me. I'm going to teach you networking. In the BAR. You're going to meet people!" And I did. Lovely people. Some of whom are still my friends. Remarkably, so is the ever patient Jeffe. :D

Trying to coach a socially awkward, rampant introvert in networking cannot be remotely easy work. And it's funny, but while I have that acting degree, and you'd think it would make me outgoing as heck, mostly all it does is give me the ability to talk about nothing for thirty minutes straight. True story. Another in my long list of stupid human tricks. Give me a cup of tea and a topic and I'll demonstrate some day. (What I want to know is why I can't parlay that BS talent into a scintillating blog?? Different brain pathways, maybe?)

At any rate, yes, yes. Network. If that wigs you out the way it did me, reframe it. Be interested in people. Ask questions of people. Networking isn't about being the center of the solar system. It's about jetting in, looking at someone and going, "Oooo! Interesting! Hey, that thing you're doing with the rings and moons? That's wicked cool! What made you do that?" That's the nerd way of saying an honest interest in the people around you is 90% of the networking battle. It doesn't matter if that interest is voiced in person, via email, blog posts, Twitter, Facebook, or any other social media. Interacting with people is the name of the game. INTER acting. Chances are the people you're chatting are just as nervous about the whole talking to strangers thing as you are. The thing that helped me most on that front was to make it a game. At any function, I must leave the group I normally hang with at least once and sit at a table full of strangers. It is then my job to begin drawing those strangers out. "Hi, my name is...Where are you from?  What do you write/edit/represent/think of current writing drama du jour..." Sure it's stilted at first, but that eventually breaks up and a group of strangers are chattering and laughing away. That's fun.

Still. It is true that I am a novice networker. Jeffe is the master. Grasshopper has a lot to learn yet. 

Secret Tricks for Optimizing Research

Tomorrow sees the release of Under His Touch, one of my contemporary erotic romances. The lovely ladies at That's What I'm Talking About are hosting a Sunday Snippet from the book, if you care to check it out. It's one of my favorite scenes in the book, when my very correct Brit hero just can't quite stop himself from touching the heroine. A chaste caress, but oh, so fraught.

My favorite thing!

Okay, one of my favorite things...

This week's topic at the Bordello is Research Tips and Tricks.

I want to tell you guys what I tell everyone when they ask me about doing research - that I write what I do because I can make things up and don't have to do research!

Seriously, this is why I don't write historical anything.

That said, I did go to a fancee college where I learned to use a research library. Because I double-majored in biology and religious studies, I became adept at finding both cutting edge scientific data and obscure old mystical texts. And loved it all. In grad school, I began to do my own research, which developed another set of skills.

Of course, this was all back in the days before the military-industrial complex developed the Internet, which was then swiftly appropriated by free-thinkers the world over, in one of my favorite bits of irony.

See? I have a lot of favorite things.

It's pretty amazing. I wrote a novel five years ago that I adapted Sanskrit words for to create the world, which means I used this ginormous Sanskrit dictionary - four inches thick and not in alphabetical order. It's a giant PITA to use. I never sold this novel, but I recently adapted it for another go at the market. This time I discovered an ONLINE SANSKRIT DICTIONARY. I cannot rhapsodize enough on how ever-so-much easier this is to use.

So, that's my tip. Use the ever-loving Internet.

Save the dictionary links, learn how to improve your Google-fu with specific searches, know which are the good research site, donate to http://www.wikipedia.org/ because they're awesome. And I'll give you one more.

Twitter.

I know, I know - I'm always going on about Twitter. But the Twitter hive-mind LOVES questions. You can throw a question out on the waters and someone will answer. It's amazing. It helps if you have a fair number of followers, but you can always add "Please RT" and people will pass it along. Best reason ever to build followers.

For example, when writing Under His Touch, I asked Twitter if it would be reasonable for a man in New York City to go out on a Sunday morning and buy a high end hairbrush from a place nearby. Not only did an NYC gal answer, she even wanted to drill down to what neighborhood he'd live in and where he might go.

(The answer was yes.)

So there you have it. Go forth and retrieve that information!

Just for the Fun of It - Five to Follow

Five to Follow

Easiest blog post ever. My recommendation: Figure out what you care about. Follow that. Bonus points if you can learn something. Bonus points if what you follow makes you laugh. Extra-bonus, bonus points if it's both at one time. Here are a few of mine.

@spacedotcom - because space. If you science, NASA has a bunch of Twitter handles, too. Each of the active space craft have active Twitter accounts. There are even a few spoof accounts, like @sarcasticrover - which commonly laments being abandoned to lonely servitude on Mars. @newhorizons2015 is coming up on a drive-by of Pluto. Yes. This is 100% geek fodder. I still follow @philae2014 (RIP) - the lander that @ESA_Rosetta put down on that comet. Nothing warms a dork heart like getting to look at grainy space photos that never make the news orgs. it's for all of us who grew up pretending we were all going to be astronauts.

@bigcatrescue - Lions and tigers and bobcats. Lots more. Photos. Sometimes video. The sanctuary does great outreach work. They give their big cats lots of fun enrichment - entire raw turkeys at Thanksgiving - and video the cats having the time of their lives. Some times, you just need to watch a tiger bounding around with a turkey carcass dangling from her mouth. I can justify this as a writing site by saying did you know tigers chuff in greeting? Do you know what that sounds like? These guys have a video of that. C'mon. Surely you need to know that. For something. Somewhere.

Local news orgs - No handles cause I recommend following your own local news orgs - this is for local alerts and emergency notification. As I type, we have a major weather event inbound. Local news stations get everything out on Twitter before they manage to get it on radio or TV. Finally. Most of our weather people live Tweet major weather events, tracking them as the systems march into the city. Very useful for knowing when to double down on the lines tying us to the dock.

@writeremergency (this was from a kickstarter - dunno how this is going to pan out yet, but the concept is awesome) - These guys developed a sort of tarot pack for writers - it's a deck of cards specifically designed to break up writer blocks, jump-start ideas and generally prod you into action on your writing. I funded these guys because the whole thing sounded like fun. I should get a deck from them. Review forthcoming.

@conspiracystuff - This is one of those accounts that both gives me info I wouldn't otherwise have and which makes me laugh. Matt and Ben are conspiracy theory nuts, however, they are also really good at research (or have people who are) so when they dive into covering a conspiracy theory, they really go for all sides of the story. They delve into history. And some of the things they cover are just plain weird. I love these guys because the story ideas they hand me are legion.

Just for fun:
@ghouliachilds - because horror themed food, photos and recipes. I should have grown up in the Addams Family because horror and food are, in my opinion, the perfect match. Besides. Food is often pretty much about all the horror.

@thegoodgodabove - Love this account. The Good God Above is also Facebook God. Comedy. Irreverence. Making a positive difference. And occasionally baiting the haters. What's not to like?

And you know, if you want cat photos and the occasional snarky comment, you're more than welcome to follow me. @marcellaburnard 

Jeffe's Picks for Five to Follow on Twitter

I spent most of yesterday like this, in my armchair, reviewing copy edits for THE TALON OF THE HAWK. Made it through 307 of 527 pages. Somebody tell me not to write a book this long again...

This week's topic at the Bordello is our Top 5 Social Media Follows: Who Do You Recommend Following, Why, & On Which Service?

Likely this will come as a shock to no one, but I'm not a huge fan of "must follows." In fact, I'm contrarian enough that I refuse to follow some of the biggies, simply because it annoys me that they're so anointed. Most of the time this anointing strikes me as one of two things: 1) completely manufactured by slick marketing teams, or 2) popularity contests that continue to feed on their own momentum.

I know, I know - but you guys have read my books. I'm all about ways power is used to manipulate.

Also, I'm big on social media being, well, social. Picking out the "must follows" is akin to going to a huge party, asking who's the most popular person there and hanging on the edges of their conversation crowd all evening. Not only won't you find any number of interesting people there, who might become friends, you've missed the whole point of going to the party in the first damn place.

That said...

Five Fun Twitter Follows

 1) Neil Gaiman @NeilHimself

With 2.1 million followers as of this posting, he's kinda big on the Twitters. There's even a syndrome named for him - #NeilWebFail - which is when websites crash because he tweets a link to them and SO MANY people click that the server fails. He's worth following because it's really him tweeting, he talks to Amanda Palmer, so we can spy on their marriage (one of my hobbies - don't judge), and because he uses his power for good and retweets worthwhile causes and furthers the missions of literature and being decent people. He also actually replies to people.

2) Amanda Palmer @AmandaPalmer

You knew that was coming, right? She only has half the followers Neil does, alas, but she tweets far more. Her twitter stream verges on performance art and she starts amazing conversations. She talks about music, art and helping each other. And she engages with people. She even replied to me when I tweeted about one of her songs. This is as it should be.

3) @SavedYouAClick

I hate click-bait with a burning fiery rage. You know the stuff - the headlines designed to yank your curiosity so hard that you can't stand NOT to click, even knowing it won't satisfy you in the end. This is where Jake Beckman comes in. He clicks for us and tells us the answer, which is usually prosaic. Such as:

Caffeine. RT @OMGFacts: Probably not the best drug ever!
— Saved You A Click (@SavedYouAClick) December 5, 2014

One of the most amusing aspects is when the click-baiters get annoyed and try to get him to stop. After all, their whole schtick is to garner clicks and Jake substitutes his one for all of ours. It's awesomely delicious.

4) My Agents & Editors list

I try to keep this updated, I really do. And the title is a bit of a misnomer because I throw lots of publishing industry types in there. But these are people who say interesting things about books and life. They keep up on who is getting what awards and give thoughtful perspectives on trends and books. For example, one of my twitter friends recently wondered why the poet Louise Gluck was trending. I said because she'd just been awarded the National Book Award for poetry. My friend hadn't been able to Google that info anywhere and I said my twitter stream had been full of it. Hers wasn't. I rechecked and found it was all the agents watching the awards who tipped me off. They pay attention to these things.  Also: books.

5) Me @jeffekennedy

What?? I had to say it! If I don't think I'm worth following on the twitters, I'm doing it wrong. I'm selective about what I retweet. I always label my Not Safe for Work (NSFW) tweets, of which there are at least six a day. I keep the book promo minimal and, hey, at least I amuse myself. What more can you ask for??

Adrenaline, Online Presence, and Invisibility

This will be short and to the point because FINALLY the boat is back in the water - all repairs completed. Pretty much everything that could go wrong, did, and kept us on dry land days past our original splash date. But it's all over, now. We hit the ground running at 5AM. The boat was in the water at 10:30 this morning. My father and I have been on the water since, delivering the boat back to its regular slip. Add in two solid adrenaline rushes while I did things with that boat I'd (A) never done before and (B) had no idea I could do and you may understand that my brain is oozing out my ears. Maybe you've hear that the most exciting parts of flying an airplane are landing and taking off. In boating, the most terrifying parts are getting off the dock and then putting the boat back on the dock (without killing anyone or sinking anything). So. I'm pretty much toasted. But I can tell you about my online presence, such as it is.

Website: There are really none of the following save the author website that I think are critical - and I know a couple of authors who laugh at even that. They have no website at all. Their argument is that if you're looking for information on them, they want you to find their books, not them. Shrug. Dunno. I have a website.

Blogging: I have three. Word-whores, Darker Temptations, and my much neglected personal blog. I tried working both on Blogger and on Wordpress. One person swore that Wordpress made it much easier for you to be discovered - or to go viral, however, I saw no real difference between the two. Thus the Wordpress blog will be closed out and the content there will be moved over to the longer running Blogger site.

Twitter: I am on Twitter where I listen more than I speak. I find my snark is strongest on Twitter and I have to rein that in. It's way too easy for that to come off as mean. Do Not Want. So I listen until I have a ridiculous day that begs for quick shots into the great dark expanse of the interwebs - mostly about the boat or the cats.

Facebook: I have an author page and my regular page. FB has done their best to make FB utterly useless and irrelevant in the recent past. Not that I'm bitter. Author pages are no longer visible to your followers unless you pay FB's extortion - ehem - page promotion fees. Thus, I've asked anyone who liked my author page to friend me on my regular page, assuming they can handle the cat photos and geeky silliness I post there. I'm nowhere near my friend limit and at least the few book updates I post have a shot of showing up on someone's feed.

Tumblr: Lurvs Tumblr. Most of my reblogging is science, artwork, fashion I will never get to wear, and assorted stuff that tickles me. This is the least 'branded' thing I do. Which may be why it's so much fun. I'm not in the least concerned that I might 'do it wrong'.

The Thing I Do Not Have and Am Likely to Never Have: Pinterest. I know my limits. And I know a massive, unending, never write again time sink when I see one.

Curious thing. I am not crazy about any of my online presences. Some writers have spent most of their lives being invisible. The sudden emphasis on getting online and staying online in a meaningful (and up to date way) can feel overwhelming, impossible, intrusive or any combination of those things. Those of us who fall into that category are bucking the tide to get online in the first place and when we do, we're plagued by constant inadequacy neuroses about them. All of them. If you fall into the category with me, take a deep breath, and do one thing. Right or wrong. Pick one. Start there. Bonus points if you can make it fun for yourself. I know. That sounds like an oxymoron. Think of it as challenging your comfort zone. You're stretching. Growing. And getting your website online.

Don't Know Marketing

Don't Know Marketing
Do you ever feel like you're only barely qualified to talk about something? Yeah. Me and marketing.  It is a gaping black hole in the speckled galaxy of 'stuff Marcella knows'.

Solution: learn.
My current 'favorite' paid marketing is actually a class on marketing I just started taking. Not that I intend to turn it into a business or anything - this is a base layer so I can understand how marketing works.

Marketing is about relationships.
If you are authentic, you build organic and lasting relationships with people who think like you do. See? My classes are paying off already. Before two weeks ago, marketing was just selling something. Maybe it's no surprise, then, that my favorites are about relationships.

Relationship the First and the Free
Feline-L. These are people I've known for years who are members of a Feline Fancier's Listserv. We may be techno-dinosaurs (those should totally be a thing), but we have members in Turkey, Israel, France, the UK, South America, Canada and the US, all of us bound by our appreciation for felines. Our members encompass people from all walks of life. Scientists. Veterinary professionals. Artists. Techies. You name it. Fellow sci-fi/fantasy author Noel-Anne Brennan is a member. She even coached me through a few things when I was first published.

Several of my friends of Feline-L have come over to Twitter. Several of us have a 10% pact - 10% of what we make goes to charity whether it be animal welfare, environmental causes, or any other charity. We Tweet that we're donating and to whom, but dollar amounts never go on social media. We're interested in being accountable. Not in boasting or being jerks.

These folks buy books, talk about books and they leave the best reviews. To this day, I have a file folder full of pictures of their cats with my books.

Relationship the Second and the Paid

World of Warcraft.

Laugh if you like. While you laugh, I will sing songs of raids conducted in imaginary, animated dungeons by groups of like-minded geeks talking to one another live in real-time via Ventrilo. Or Mumble. These are people from across the world, techies, mostly. Your main tank may be an IT tech for the US military in real life. The lead healer may be a cyber-security expert from Down Under. One of the hunters is a programmer who lives just down the street from you. Sure. A few of the raid members are still nerds living in Mom's basement. Most of them aren't, though, cause the ones who can't afford to move out can't afford the monthly pay to play. Almost all of them will bend over backwards to buy a book from that little gnomish fire mage with tragic fashion sense. One of my fellow raiders ended up joining the guild I belong to so I could talk him through working on his own book and getting it ready for submission. This is my other group of friends from all over the world. These people whisper me in game demanding to know when the next book is coming out. The guild leader posts my releases in the guild message of the day and leaves it up for a week. We host real life guild events that pull people from all over and my guildies bring their copies of my book for me to sign. When we hear a guildie is coming in from out of town (or from out of country) word goes out and we meet up. These people buy and consume books like they weren't addicted to an aging massive multiplayer online roleplaying game. They write awesome reviews and twist their friends' arms to read my stuff.

Getting to be friends with your readers, does it get any better?

Social Media Butterfly

'Know thyself' was inscribed in the pronaos (forecourt) of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. Apparently, several philosophers have tried to define precisely what that means, today, here's my take: Know thyself in all aspects - good, bad. Strengths and weaknesses. No over estimating. No under estimating. Foibles, quirks, everything. Presumably, by knowing all of these things, you are then armored. It becomes harder for your weaknesses and foibles to subsequently be used against you. In ancient Greece, where capricious gods were thought to affect everyday life, that sort of armor was vital.

I suggest it still is. Perhaps not because of capricious gods, though, to each his or her own, you know? No, my thought is that it's best to go armored to some extent against social media. Why? Because social media presents a false front. A façade. One that can depress the crap out of you. From CBS: "A new study shows that Facebook may help people feel connected, but it doesn’t make them any happier. In fact, according to the research, which was conducted by the University of Michigan, Facebook use actually predicts a decline in a person’s well-being."

From a Slate article titled "The Antisocial Network": ""Misery Has More Company Than People Think," a paper in the January issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, draws on a series of studies examining how college students evaluate moods, both their own and those of their peers. Led by Alex Jordan, who at the time was a Ph.D. student in Stanford's psychology department, the researchers found that their subjects consistently underestimated how dejected others were–and likely wound up feeling more dejected as a result. . .Jordan got the idea for the inquiry after observing his friends' reactions to Facebook: He noticed that they seemed to feel particularly crummy about themselves after logging onto the site and scrolling through others' attractive photos, accomplished bios, and chipper status updates. "They were convinced that everyone else was leading a perfect life.""

Note that these studies didn't differentiate between introverts and extroverts. Everyone felt worse. As a terminally geeky kid who grew into an equally geeky adult, I've always had this secret longing to belong - to be one of the cool kids. They had life SO much better. From the too loud laughter and fashionable clothes, it was obvious. And yet, even after achieving some level of belonging in groups that mattered to me (finding my tribe among writers, being published) I had other people looking at me like I was one of the cool kids, but I STILL look at Twitter posts from people I follow and I get that same lonely, stuck-on-the-outside-looking-in twinge. All because a few authors whose feeds I read present a chipper, clever, everything's always perfect front. They're doing more, being more. I end up feeling left in the dust. Granted there will always be something to aspire to - that's necessary if you're to have goals. But how healthy is it to allow something like tiny status updates on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr or Pinterest to shape what you think you want to strive for?

This isn't to say that I advocate abandoning social media altogether. I don't. See last week's post on a similar subject. Absolutely engage in social media. Just be aware and remind yourself of a few things:

• If it isn't fun, don't do it
• Be aware that it's human nature to compare yourself to other people and that social media posts can never give you an accurate picture of another person.
• Accept that social media posts do not represent reality - they're a Christmas card snapshot where everyone's had a little too much eggnog and they're all dressed in gaudy red and green sweaters while they grin manically in front of the tree. Sub in umbrella drinks and bikinis on the beach - whatever is guaranteed to poke your jealously and sense of inadequacy with a sharp stick.
• Know thyself and then to thine own self be true (Polonius in Hamlet) - know your limits and stick to them. If an hour a day is all you can stand with social media, then by all means, give that hour your all. Then walk away, whistling and smiling. You've done good work.
• Recognize the signs of addiction - I'm only half kidding - apparently, it's possible. Keep track of your word counts on your WIPs. Are they dropping? Are you checking social media while you're out with loved ones or friends? At the dinner table? Beware, social media butterfly. That way lies madness. Unplug the router. Put down the cellphone - better yet - give it to a really mean but beloved friend and step away from the never-ending status updates.

Is engaging in social media strictly necessary? Probably not. Plenty of books sell without it. However, most publishers ask authors to engage. So in the interests of being a team player, put up that Facebook page, start that Twitter account - or whatever it is that sounds like a good time. And then do whatever it takes to protect your mental and emotional wellbeing and above all your writing. If your anxiety levels about what you're achieving start rising, you may be comparing yourself unfavorably to all of the 'I wrote 20k words today!' posts.

Social media isn't an accurate representation of anyone. You are far more than any collection of 140 word tweets. Or sunny vacation FB photos. So is everyone else.

Why Twitter Is the Perfect Way to Procrastinate

I'm at my 25th college reunion this weekend and took this pic of our iconic administration building.

This week's topic is: Procrastination Station: Your Guilty Pleasures... Now, typically, I'm not much for feeling guilt about anything, but procrastinating when I should be writing is angst-inducing, indeed. Fortunately, I rarely do this - probably because I can't afford the time - but when I do, there's one place I go. Let me present to you the one-stop-shopping solution for ALL of your procrastination needs!

TWITTER

What did we do before Twitter? (And, yeah, those of you who've never looked at it or looked and ran away screaming, you may be excused from this post. Go find some other way to procrastinate.)

The grand and deadly thing about Twitter is, it's always new. It constantly changes. If you follow enough interesting people, and I do, you can watch the conversations all day long. You don't even have to say anything. Sometimes I'll end up following conversation threads back for days. If I do get involved in conversations, the back and forth can go on for a long time. Clicking on article links alone can take me down a rabbit hole worth hours of time...

If I let it.

Which takes us back to the top. I don't spend much time at Procrastination Station. I have a little trick up my sleeve called Freedom and Twitter is the primary reason I need it. Sometimes I have to set the Freedom timer before I've closed Twitter, just to make myself stop.

But I know all my friends will be there when I get back, being all interesting...