The Good, the Bad, and the High School

Full disclosure: If I'm writing -  actually getting story on virtual paper, there is no place, no matter how awful, that's totally bad. It's only when I'm trying and failing to write that I claim someplace is worst. I'm keeping a running list.

1. Onboard a moving boat while a cat is having a full blown panic attack and insists she'll only be okay if you hold her and never let her go. Though, to be honest, that can go much worse. Sometimes the cat gets seasick into the bargain.
2. Onboard a moving boat because getting lost in your own little fictional world and forgetting to look up at the horizon once in a while is a sure fire recipe for getting seasick yourself.
3. Family events of any kind  - they've put up with this writing shit for however many years old you are. When it's Mom's 70th birthday? No one understands the need to just get this awesome idea on paper.
4. In a moving car - again with the motion sickness thing. I'm fortunate that airplanes aren't usually a problem. Or maybe it's that I'm already drugged to the gills in order to fly in the first place.
5. Anyplace with an internet connection - seriously. The best and most progress I made on books ever has been when my internet connection was down. Easy to make fictional tracks when you're not being tempted away to glance at email. Or Twitter. Or Facebook.
6. In the company of my nearest and dearest. I love my family. I promise. But there's something about me wanting to sit down and make word count that turns my normally rational husband and standoffish cats into creatures who adore me and can't possibly live without me. And they must all off them tell me so the second my fingers make contact with my keyboard. Writing email? No one cares. Blog posts? Yawn. Open the WIP? It's like I opened a can of magical husband and cat luring scent - pizza for him, tuna for the felines.
   

This is why I'm going to say what I'm going to say: Public places are generally conducive to my getting a novel written. So long as I *like* the place, I have  my mp3 player, and a little bit of space. The trick is to carve a tiny bit of personal space out of that public place. Make your booth in the café into your own little world. My corner table at the tea shop I jokingly call my office allows me to spread out just enough to have a buffer between me and any potential neighbors. The headphones and soundtracks I've chosen close out the public to an even larger degree.

The place where I wrote that I hated the most? High school. Wasn't a happy kid, I grant you that. It's hard to claim it's the worst place I ever wrote, though, because writing in order to survive high school is what made it necessary for me to write to survive period. And as coping mechanisms go? This is a-okay. I make shit up and occasionally, someone pays me for it. What's not to like?

The Sound of Silence.

by Allison Pang

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've always had to be pretty flexible in getting in my writing time - all those real world things going on means I have steal my word count whenever and wherever I can. The laptop goes everywhere with me as a result - and if not that, then at least a notebook.  That means I've tried writing in cars, doctor offices, airports, cruise ships, hotels, the bathroom, coffee shops, the park, conferences, wherever. As long as I've got a set of headphones in, I'm golden. (And incidentally, if you're one of those sorts of writers who like white noise to write to - check out SounDrown or Coffitivity- all the joy of being in a coffee shop without the actual people.)

Also? I have been known to troll lookie-loo's in public places. There have been times when I've had someone clearly looking over my shoulder at what I'm writing. I find the best way to kill that is to write that person into whatever I'm writing  at the moment. Get a quick feel for what they look like/ are wearing and the poof - now they're having sex with a goat.

People rarely stick around after that.

To be honest, I actually enjoy trying to write in places other than my home office. Maybe it's the change of pace or just being somewhere new.

Or maybe it's because the kids aren't around.



Without the random variable of this particular derailer, everything else is gravy. In fact, I actually look forward to writing on trains or planes because OMFG, I am ALONE.

It probably sounds pretty callous to admit it, but there it is:
The worst place to write is anywhere my kids happen to be.

(Which is why I usually put it off until they're in bed/out of the house.) And it's not that I don't love them, duh. But with the ages they're at, there's just a lot of general neediness - whether it's snuggletime or making lunch, even if I've got a few minutes of breathing room to work, I am nearly always on edge, just waiting for the next interruption. Which will undoubtedly come after the first ten words of a new paragraph - which in turn makes me more frustrated - which pulls me out of the zone further, etc. It becomes a neverending cycle.

So my only solution is to NOT write if I'm alone with them - this way I can give them all my attention AND keep my sanity. Win/win for all. :)

On an aside note, we are still taking random words for next week's flash fiction posts  (which will be my last word whore post for at least a month, so make them good ones, eh?) :D

Worst Place I've Written? GTFO

First Order of Bloggey Biz: 

Post THREE WORDS in the comments section. THREE. Make them as random as you like. Next week is flash-fiction ad-lib week. As in you give us THREE WORDS and we have to write a very, very short story using those three words.  Jeffe will gather all the words and, via the magic of a randomizer, pick the three we're going to use.

Obscure, tawdry, or tame, let us have 'em.

Second Order of Bloggey Biz:

Worst Place I've Ever Written... uhm... any place that has people? Especially little people, as in under the age of Leave Me The Fuck Alone.  I can't write in an environment of distractions. Chattering? GTFO. TV on? GTFO. Slamming around the kitchen? GTFO. Honking the horn? GTFO. Parade of hot men? Wait. Wait. We'll just call it "research."

Oh, my dear darling readers, you know I've a thing for solitude. What you may not know is how well I can write flash-fiction based on random words.

THREE WORDS. COMMENTS SECTION. Aaaaaand GO!

Elbow Wars and Writing on Airplanes

These sunflowers are all along the back roads in New Mexico right now, bright as summer itself.

Before I go anywhere with this week's theme, I need to say something about *next* week's topic: Flash Fiction Ad Libs. Using three words provided by you, our readers, we will each write a piece of flash fiction. I think we should all use the same three words. So suggest your word or set of words throughout the week and I'll throw them all into a randomizer and choose three for next week.

This ought to be entertaining.

This week, the Topic-Meister asks, What's the Worst Place You've Written?

Now I'm sure that our intrepid Whores, like James and Allison, will have tales of writing from gutters outside nightclubs, hospital beds, underneath the counter at Starbucks, etc.

This is not me.

I know. I'm kind of a princess this way.

I don't write well away from my desk. While I'm pretty consistently productive in the quiet of my home, I don't hit nearly the same levels anywhere else. Coffee shops irritate me, as much as I love Starbucks otherwise. While I can write in the car (if someone else is driving), it's harder to concentrate. Don't get me started on the gutters outside nightclubs.

Really, the only place I can productively write besides at home, is hotel rooms and airplanes.

Guess which gets my vote for worst place?

Oh my god - save me from the elbow wars.

See, I'm a fairly petite woman. I'm 5'4", reasonably svelte, so I don't take up all the room in my airplane seat, even as narrow as they are these days. I also have traveled enough for the day job that I have decent enough status on my fave airlines to get primo seat-selection.

I love me a nice window seat.

But those folks relegated to the admittedly cramped hell of the middle seat? They see me and salivate. Yes, guys, especially you big guys, I'm looking at you. And no, you're not eyeing me with delight because I'm so damn cute. You want my airspace. I can smell it on you. You're a Space Invader.

I read a long time back - and I believe it's fair - that the middle seat gets both armrests. I'm fine with that. Have the armreest. But you don't get to hang your elbow on my side of the armrest. Or lean over, so your shoulder is on my chair. This situation is exacerbated when I'm trying to type on my little netbook.

Thus the elbow wars.

I've thought about creating a little card, maybe with a piece of candy attached, that says:

Hi!

I'll be your window-seat companion for this flight. The armrest between us is all yours. However, I would appreciate if you otherwise keep to your seat and don't overlap into my space.

Happy travels! 

I suspect this is too passive/aggressive. Alas.

Once a Twitter friend offhandedly said something along the lines of "since I can't use my laptop on the airplane." I asked why she couldn't and she said because she thinks it's rude - not enough space.

It made me wonder, am I rude to try to write using my netbook on an airplane? The Space Invaders overlap my seat, even if I'm just reading, though I can better lean away. Still, I think - why is this my problem? Shouldn't my seat be my seat and if I can stay inside my invisible borders, I can do as I like?

What do you all think - what ARE the rules of politeness here? And remember to suggest you Random Words for Flash Fiction Frolics next week!