Renaissance Woman

If y'all will pardon me for singing my own praises, then let it be known that I am a triple-threat of creativity and the trifecta of talent!  (Plus BONUS ROUND extras below!)

1.) I write novels. Y'all know that part. Blah blah blah.

2.) I write music.

A.) ROCK. If you pay attention here at all, you probably know that little ol' me also plays a mean guitar. 6 and/or 7 string electric guitar. My collect isn't huge, there are currently six. The first was the cherry red Peavy Razor. My dad bought it when I was 15. I'd taken piano lessons from age 8 to 14 and was ready for something new and cool. By 16 I was in a band. A METAL band


The summer between my junior and senior years, I was 17, and I was the lead guitarist for an almost-all girl rock/metal band. We were the house band, played every Thursday night, had dibs on opening for touring acts and were supposed to fill in if someone had to cancel, but that never happened. It was THE spot to play around here.

 

We played AC/DC to Metallica, Iron Maiden to Ozzy, Sweet to Sabbath, GNR, Ratt, Crue, Poison, and the standard chick songs...Lita, Benatar, Jett, Runaways.

B.) SCORES. I have a keyboard with multi-track recording built in. I once scored a book I was writing. (It is yet unpublished.)
I've been playing in another band locally, but we haven't gotten together in a few months due to various other band member things going on. But I still love to play.






3.) I can draw and paint.

I went to college initially for Visual Communications...a fancy way of saying Graphic Artist. But more than typography and layout, I can sketch, and I loves to do me some doodles. And photo-shop...oh, yeah, the POWER!!!!

<--- On the left is a gargoyle atop a church steeple, a study of foreshortening from the wingtip. That is the original image.


Below is the photoshopped one... What do yu think???

I also paint. Here is my boys room long ago...with the stones painted... and shaded. EACH and EVERY one. Then...

 

Then...I planned pillars, distant mountains, and sky....

 

And when it was done...SIX WEEKS LATER...

 

AND in the bonus round, I claim even more creative pursuits....

 

4.) I also enjoy cooking and baking.

Yes, I kick ass in the Domestic Goddess round, too. I can cook, anything. I am descended from fine hillbilly folk and I can make you biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast lunch or dinner. My soups and chilis are among the best, and I slay the casserole or crock-pot competition. Want a five pound Death by Chocolate cake? Done. Oh yes...anything chocolate...I got your number, and the recipe to bring it home.  

 

**NOTE. In my mind, I want to be Tomb Raider, out having adventures and kicking ass...but the truth is I'm more of a Betty Crocker. So I write the adventures and such. 

 

5.) And I frigging sew.

COSTUME ONE: Assassin  I sewed various pieces here. I did not sew the main vest, nor the hood though I did make the pattern for the hood out of newspaper. I made measurements from the EZIO TOY my son had, and then increased it exponentially and drew the pattern on newspaper from the measurements, cut it out and my friend Deb sewed it.

COSTUME TWO: Elder Scrolls (some armor....??) I sewed all of this except the pants which we bought. I spent 60+ hours on this. The kid wore it for 3 hours. **The things moms do because we love our kids.**

Flash Fiction Challenge: Zombie, Cooking, Checkers

The rules were: Three words, as short a story as we could manage with no more than 24 hours to contemplate. My words were "Zombie, Cooking, Checkers." Those three words are almost a flash fiction story in and of themselves. So I didn't stray far from that line.

THE COOKING CONTEST

“Chef Janelle, from Chez Frou-Frou, lovely to have you in the competition. Chef Jorge comes to us from his avant-garde restaurant Skid Marks. And finally, in a great, pleasant surprise, Chef Timothy from the renowned café Mystery Meat! We’re pleased to see you, sir. Rumors of your untimely death were greatly exaggerated, it seems, and we’re all of us glad of it.”

The panel of judges could be heard whispering in the background. “Is he a bit – pale? He seems pale to me.”

“On to the contest! You know the rules! You each have the same list of ingredients with which to create your dishes based upon the theme we give you. Our panel of judges will rate your creations based on imagination, presentation and, of course, taste. Perhaps the most challenging ingredient in today’s contest: Brains!”

All three contestants groaned. Though perhaps Chef Timothy groaned longest.

“Your theme is: Checkers! Let your imaginations run wild. Ready? Set? COOK!”

<Stay tuned for the results after this word from our sponsors!>

“AND we’re back! In a contest first, we’ve had not one, but TWO of our contestants drop out of the competition without a word. Our thanks to Chef Timothy for staying the course and to our staff chef for stepping in at the last minute to give Chef Timothy a run for his money. Judges ready for the unveiling of the dishes? Voila!”

“Our staff chef has given us lightly scrambled eggs and beef brains garnished with a clever checkered pattern of sour cream and chives. Well done, Trish!”

The panel of three judges each tasted the dish before moving on to sample Chef Timothy’s offering. General exclamations of delight followed from all three judges.

“Chef Timothy! Step forward, please!”

He shambled two steps toward the judging table. All three judges traded concerned glances. Chef Timothy’s pallor had taken on a distinctly blue tinge.

“Chef Timothy, this is a fabulous presentation of light and dark meats arranged in a checker board pattern topped with a mélange of brains sautéed in butter, white wine, and capers. It is excellent, sir! Excellent. Tell us what we’re eating?”

“Braaains.”

“Well, yes, sir. Can you be more specific?”

After a moment’s silence, Chef Timothy grinned a bloody toothed grin. “Janelle and Jorge braaains.”