Overheard

I swear I wasn't raised in a barn, that period between 5 and 8 wherein I thought getting up at 5am to help Grandpa milk was cool notwithstanding.  Eavesdropping is wrong. I get that, morally. It's never one of those things you mean to do. I'm hoping there a moral difference between intentionally listening in on something you're not meant to hear and overhearing someone's conversation because you're at the next table in the tiny café. If only because it might keep me out of some 'failed to mind her own beeswax' purgatory.

So let's not call it 'eavesdropping' and instead go with the more innocuous 'couldn't help but overhear'.

Now, I started this post Thursday night, like a good blogger should, so I could schedule it to post for you first thing this morning. A little voice (besides the one saying 'go to bed') told me to wait - to finish this post on Friday AM. Now I know why.

I freely admit that the tea shop is where I do most of my - er - overhearing. Yesterday, it was a pair of women writing plays next to me.
     "Is Madeline Island too obscure a reference?" one of the gals asked the other.
     "What? What is it?" her friend returned.
     "It's an island!"
     "Never heard of it. Where is it?"
     "I'll take that as a 'yes'. It's an island in Wisconsin."
     Her friend howled with laughter, choking out something akin to, "Wisconsin? ALL of Wisconsin is too fucking obscure!"
      "Okay. Okay."

This morning, I arrived at the tea shop before it opened. As I locked up my bike, a worker started up a leaf-blower to clean up the sidewalk in front of the restaurant next door. A window above the tea shop opened, not that I noticed until a bare-chested guy stuck half his body out of the window and began bellowing obscenities and threats at the workers.

I don't think I can legally quote the shouting match that resulted. In this case, it wasn't the really colorful words that mattered to me. The workers were, naturally, doing what they'd been paid to do, so they were defensive and inclined to ignore the guy hanging out of the second story window.

He wasn't about to be ignored. He bellowed, full-throated, no holds barred. Rage, yes. But the ragged edge of a heavy metal singer in his voice made it clear he was in extremity. When he slammed the casement shut, I thought that was the end of it.

Wasn't.

He'd put on a pair of jeans before he came storming out of the apartment building door to threaten to call the cops. It didn't stop the leaf-blower. As he turned to go back into the building, he had to pass me. I saw no anger in his face. Just weariness.
     "Do you live here, now, too?" he asked me.
     "No," I said. "I come here to work at the tea shop."
     "What time do they open?"
     "Eight," I said.
     "Those assholes," he muttered, tossing a glare over his shoulder at the workers. "Tried to tell me they started at 8. They started at 7:40."
     I showed him my cell phone. "It's not 8, but I know that outside the city limits, noisy stuff can start at 7 on weekdays. I don't know about inside the city."
     He slumped, nodded and said, "I'm just so tired of not getting a full night's sleep."

Not earth shattering conflict, or anything, but you know I'm already sitting here trying to work out what this guy does that means he's so distraught by being awakened before 8AM. Sure, sure, he could work in a night shift somewhere, but just from having witnessed his anger and despair, I'm thinking serial killer up until 2AM dismembering a victim. Or maybe a spy of some kind who has to catch his rest between missions to save humanity.

Only rarely is it WHAT someone is saying that catches my ear - though I have a list of things I've overheard. I keep those close. They're story prompts. Most of the time, it's tone that catches my attention. Conflict is compelling and when I hear it, I get sucked into actually listening - not because I want into someone else's business. Necessarily. It can be a glimpse into the life of a character, but more than that, I'm interested in what creates conflict between people. What do real people argue about? How do they express themselves? How can I use not the specific conflict, but the tone, the way someone comes at an argument?

The moral of the story seems to be, don't sit next to me at the tea shop. Cause your conversation may be the black hole from which my attention simply cannot escape. You will end up in a book.

From the Mouths of Babes

by Allison Pang

I'm actually going to be terribly lazy for this particular post. Not because I don't eavesdrop...but because I do.

Every single day.

Now, I don't know how many of you have written child-characters...but if you ever need something to work with, I offer you my daughter's twitter account: Lucy Is Tweeting.

I started it when she was about 3 - and she's 6 now. (Though to be honest, I haven't updated it in quite a while. The follower count has dropped off some as a result, but she used to have a little following.)

It's basically random tweets of things I've overheard her say. And while she has the usual childlike fixation on farts and potty humor, sometimes I'm really pretty boggled.

Honestly, I'm not sure you could actually use these as dialogue and have anyone believe they were real, but hey - here's a few to get you started:

She comes by it honestly, though. >_<

EAVESDROPPING for DIALOGUE!

by Linda Robertson

{NOTE: Read this post in the voice of favorite announcer. It's better that way...}

Attention Authors!

Have you ever taken your laptop or netbook to a public area to write? If so, YOU could be a contestant on a new game show called: EAVESDROPPING for DIALOGUE!
{This ad/post is complete and utter fiction.}  

{Insert canned applause here anyway.} 

We send you out into the world, onto crowded elevators (turbolifts), to local coffee shops, to middle-of-nowhere travel plazas, to airports and train stations, even on day trips via bus! We guarantee you’ll get an ear full! By studying the speech patterns and mannerisms of the people around you, you’ll gain ideas for characterization. AND! By giving consideration to clothing style and dialect/accent, you will begin to see past stereotypes.

The trick is going out there alone. You work in a public area, you look busy and you blend into the background. People ignore you as if you aren't even there! They talk while they are in line, either to friends with them, or, even more fun…on the phone to someone elsewhere. You get only one side of the conversation, and get to makeup the rest!

The best incorporation of some quote heard during the show {read “show” as “writing exercise”} gets to remain in the manuscript and becomes a fun little anecdote to tell at conventions.

ACTUAL EXAMPLE: I was standing in line at my local Panera one day, on my phone, talking to a pal who had read a few of my books and was inquiring about Johnny. I suppose the way I was talking about Johnny the people in line around me (who could not resist the temptation to listen/pay attention to my convo because I’m not a particularly loud individual) would assume he was a real live person. “He thinks he’s a rock star, and really for his local area I guess he is, so he’s justified in playing the part.”  “Well his tattoos are intimidating. I mean, yes he’s gorgeous and his phone voice is low and sexy and awesome, but the tats make him look fierce being all around his eyes, yanno?”   “Yeah, he’s a dirty-minded wit; he  always has some innuendo answer.” And at that point she asks about his wolf form, i.e. : Is he sized like a real wolf? The next thing I say is, “No, no. He’s the size of a pony.” At which point the ladies in line around me turned and stared at me.

 

I have seriously considered a scene with Persephone on the phone somewhere and a similar conversation happening…

And guess who's excited about the upcoming release of

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS???

I Ain't Been Droppin' No Eaves, Sir!

Ah, dear Samwise Gamgee, I always think of him (and Tolkien) whenever someone mentions eavesdropping.  Last week I wrote about accents, slang, and stereotypes. This week, through the magic dropping some eaves, I've examples from the annals of "Oh my god, did you hear that?"

• "Can I get me some Tabascee and May-o-naise? This fish ain't got no taste." 
• Shouted by the immaculately dressed silver-haired lady dining behind me at a foo-foo resort in the Schwartzwald.
• "Ma'man, Ma'man, look, zebras."
• The toddler boy doing the belly-crawl beneath the occupied stalls in the ladies' room at the movie theater.
• "Psht, playa', please. God gave me this ass to balance out my air bags."
• Retort to a pick-up line at the ice-cream shop.
• "Only an ijit welds a door shut. You dw'ian' to leave your ass in the crack you tried to slide through a goddamn window."
•  Gear-heads inspecting yet another '69 Charger painted to look like the General Lee.
• "TTI!"
• Three letters, eight syllables as hissed by a southern Ma'ma to her teenage daughter at the mall. (For those of you not raised by a Belle, "TTI" = "Tuck Your Tail In" aka "Stop walking like a whore.")

There you have my examples of accents, slang, and stereotypes as overheard in my everyday life. What fragments or phrases have you overheard, dear reader, that perfectly paint an image of the speaker?