Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What Do You Mean There's No 'Berate' in 'Collaborate'?

Okay, dear readers. You want to know how to succeed at collaborative writing? Come 'round, come 'round. Let me share with you the secrets to playing with others.

Top Five Ways to Control Collaborate:

1) Get the other guy to develop the concept, then offer nothing but criticism in the most patronizing manner.

2)  Write every chapter you owe in a different genre and a different voice.

3) When it's your turn for deliverables, be late. When it's their turn, start phone-bombing them thirty seconds past due.

4) Take over his leading character. Hell, take 'em all...right into an incinerator.

5) Publicly bash that monkeyboarding nimrod. The entire genius of the novel is yours. Yours. YOURS.

Wait, where are you going, dear reader? Don't you want to collaborate? I'm sure there are one or two bad habits you've encountered. You could share them in the comments below...


  1. Well, having personally experienced #5 (albeit on a smaller scale), I can tell you it's a surefire way to kill a friendship, let alone a collab. >_<

  2. ~happily tucks herself back into her solo work~

  3. Yeah, that's the part I mentioned about choosing who you work with....

    1. Wha? James, don't you want to collaborate with meeee? ~lash flutter~

  4. I can think of far worse fates, Kristine. ;)

  5. Are you two flirting??? No flirting on Word Whores! (Not without a cash exchange.)