What's not to love about a really trashy, terrible B-movie? A movie so freaky and weird and horrible and shockingly wtf that's it's funny?
I'll tell you what's not to love: when it actually IS horrible. When it IS shockingly wtf.
I'm talking about Caligula.
My husband and I, for our very second date back when we were both in our 20's, decided to rent movies. Whatever got into our heads to watch Caligula, I have no idea. Well, I suppose it looks sort of promisingly horrible from this trailer.
But it's not so horrible it's funny. It's so horrible, it's horrible.
I have spent a little time looking for clips that got any of the idea of the movie across but that weren't totally disturbing. But, I won't be putting any up, that's how horrible these clips are! I don't want to besmirch this blog.
If you must investigate, I give you this incestuous scene / marriage proposal of Caligula to his sister. And only watch this killing machine part if you want to see, well, horrible cruelty, but not, NOT, I repeat, the good kind. There are horrible orgy scenes, too. I recall one bike and feathers apparatus sex toy that was not only weird, but totally wouldn't have worked. Also I might add, this was my future husband and my second date. We had not yet had sex, so wtf were we thinking? Like, instead of something fun and romantic, we go for the sex and violence creepfest. Because honestly, we're not the type of people who even ever watch horror films. We're both very bookish and don't like scary films.
Here, Caligula declares himself a god. You would think that scene might be somewhat entertaining, but it ends sort of yuckily. Seriously, all this sounds like it would be good in a way, but it just isn't!! You have been warned.
I understand many of the actors quit partway through when they realized how bad it was. Seriously, this post might make it sound good-horrible, but it's totally not good in that way. Some B movies really do suck.
We didn't watch this movie all the way through, needless to say. And, luckily we had another movie we rented. The name of that movie? Death in Venice, about a man slowly dying of cholera. LOL.
It's kind of amazing we had a successful second date in spite of this, and went on to a third date and beyond. I'm happy to report we have gotten a lot better at picking movies since then.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sometimes B movies really ARE horrible!
I am a RITA-winning author of romantic suspense, urban fantasy, and other tales of love and adventure. I’ve been published by Random House and Samhain, and I presently go the indie route. I work a straight job as a marketing writer, I love to run and read in bed, I’m passionate about helping animals, and I make my home in Minnesota with my husband and two cats.