Saturday, February 18, 2012
This topic has been nagging me all week, nattering at the back of my head in a most annoying manner, suggesting I might want to think of something to write. I did a fine and wonderful job of ignoring it, and now here it is Saturday morning and I've got nothing. Zip. Nada.
Maybe because it's been years since I had any sort of crush on a celebrity, and even then I'm not sure the emotion I experienced was worthy of the word "crush." I have had, at times, a special appreciation for Harrison Ford, Viggo Mortenson, Brad Pitt and Robert Redford. I still like them, but I don't feel the need to follow them or do online searches, or even to watch all of their movies.
I'm sitting here asking myself this very important question: what exactly constitutes a crush?
So, just for fun, I asked Google for its opinion.
Google directed me to The Urban Dictionary, which tells us that a crush is "a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special." Hmmmm. If we go by this definition, then no - I have never had a crush on a celebrity. There have been a few stars whom I found very attractive and extremely special but I honestly never had a burning desire to be with any of them. I was always quite contented to worship from afar.
Google images likes Orange Crush a lot, and also gave me this:
While Crush is cute and all, I think he's probably way off topic, unless you're a turtle, or have an obscure turtle obsession. So, moving on.
Google helps us out again by recommending an article on WikiHow which points out, just in case you're not clear on this, how to tell whether you are having a crush or not. 32 points in this little article, including such gems as: Notice if you get a sudden thrill when you hear his name. Notice if you think about him in the most random moments. You can't sleep. Notice how many times you've Googled his name.
Again, by these standards, I fail the crush test.
Google also directs me to a restaurant, a movie, and several bands named Crush.
While all of this is informative and interesting, it isn't all that helpful. And I fear I shall have to include that, since Google is the God of research, I do not now, and have never had in the past, a crush on a celebrity.
Posted by Kerry Schafer
Kerry Schafer spends more time in jail than the average citizen, not to mention the number of hours logged in hospital emergency rooms. This has little to do with any twisted disregard for the law or tendency to accidents, and everything to do with her job as a crisis response professional. Her home world, guarded by one preternaturally large black dog, includes three teenagers of the male variety, a beloved Viking, two cats, and a goldfish. When she can tear herself away from service in the empires of work and home, she's most likely writing her way into some alternate reality, fortified by a tankard of coffee and the weirdest music mix ever.