Saturday, January 7, 2012

Stupid Human Tricks

By Kerry Schafer

Oh dear.

I've pretty much got nothing in either the stupid human trick or party trick department. I used to be able to recite Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss from beginning to end. I was also pretty good at speaking the ever popular Double Dutch and Pig Latin languages. And, I could sing all of the permutations of There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea really fast.

Which brings us to tongue twisters, and the closest I ever came to any sort of party trick. There is probably a really good reason why I don't seem to go to parties anymore. Ahem. Anyway. Without further ado, and for lack of anything better, I offer up a selection of twisters for you to play with. Oh, come on. Forget you're an adult. Let your inner child out to play. Have some fun. It doesn't work unless you say them out loud, so speak out.

As Shakespeare would have said, "Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue."

1. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? (as is the usual rule, you must say this five times in a row, as fast as possible)
2. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. (yep, 5 times fast)
3. She sells sea shells down by the sea shore.
4. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of peppers Peter Piper picked?
And last, but not least, from the incomparable Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss:
5. Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.


  1. Double Dutch? What is that? I never heard of it.

  2. The first four I remember from childhood. We would sit around the house, trying to do tongue twisters. I don't remember how I was at them, though. (I'd do them now, but the Hubs is right next to me, working. He already thinks I'm nuts. I don't want to add to that. LOL)

  3. Sullivan, Double Dutch is kin to Pig Latin only a little more complicated. The phrase "can you speak Double Dutch" would look like "cadegan youdegou speadegeak doudegouble dudegutch."

    B.E., oh, come on. Where's your sense of adventure? If he already knows your nuts, what's to lose? : )

  4. LOL! I love these, yea though I only made it to #4 before I devolved into a babbling drool pile.

  5. KAK, we may have stumbled onto a weapon. If you could devolve all enemies into a babbling drool pile, you'd be queen of all.

  6. Im a sheet slitter, I slit sheets. I'm the best sheet slitter that ever slit a sheet. Thats the tongue twister we had around here, compliments of my bro.

  7. @Kerry: Ok..... I hope that it's not named Double Dutch because Americans think Dutch sounds weird like that ;-)