Monday, May 2, 2011

Oh, the Places You'll Go...

by Laura Bickle

Many congrats to Marcella Burnard! ENEMY GAMES releases tomorrow...and I can't wait to check it out! 

Here's the fabulous blurb:

Kidnapped while combating a devastating plague, Jayleia Durante fights to resist the attractive Major Damen Sindrivik, an officer from a rival government’s spy corps. But with her spymaster father missing, and mercenaries hot on her trail, Jayleia must join forces with the magnetic, charming and manipulative spy. She must see past her desire and remember that his single-minded agenda is for the protection of the empire - not her or her people.

Damen knows a shadowy network of traitors has allied with the violent Chekydran, and that Jayleia’s father holds the key to dismantling that web. She becomes his only lead in a circuitous round of hide and seek and despite their opposing sides, he can’t resist her. Too bad his instincts tell him Jayleia is lying to him.

Now Jayleia and Damen must find the love to match their passion and end the war or they’ll become the prey of the traitors they stalk, and one species’ civil war will consume the galaxy.

And on to the topic for today...

I don't get hit on a lot. Especially not now, since I got married a few years ago. But I do remember a good deal of what it was like. I've experienced and heard about some unusual places to get hit upon, which make for amusing stories on how to couple up. Or how to fail in doing so.

I'm a nerd girl. I have no interest whatsoever in the whole Alpha Male thing. When I was single, I wanted  a guy who could make jokes about subatomic particles and who subscribes to Mental Floss magazine. I was never into guys who hung out at bars or gyms. I want a guy who's playing computer games at midnight on Saturday. I'm a nerd, too. We speak the same language.

I ultimately found my Nerd in Shining Armor via internet dating. Internet dating is a blast for nerdy gals. Nerdy gals get hit upon a lot, and it's an experience that I highly recommend for all my geek sisters. There are a lot of nice men out there who just want to meet a nice woman. I believe that my userid had something to do with science market, remember. Talk nerdy to me.

To that end, a great place to meet guys is MicroCenter. Yes. Microcenter. Most of the men hanging out there are employed, smart, cute, and there is a ready topic of conversation at hand: computer equipment.

I still remember when I was taking a computer networking class for my Cisco certification. All of us networking geeks (which also included eligible bachelors and bachelorettes) were in the mood to run cable in our houses.  Because, well...we just learned we COULD. So we wanted to try it out. I went in to MicroCenter on a Friday night after work to pick up two cartons of Cat5e cable (which should tell you about how long ago that was). I was carrying two spools up to the checkout like cartons of beer.

A guy stopped short in the aisle, looked upon me with my loot. He was my type: tall, lanky, crooked smile. Dress shirt and Dockers.

"Wow, that's hot," he blurted.

"Um, thanks." I looked down and shifted from foot to foot.

"I mean, that's really hot." He blushed and bit his lip.

"Um...thanks. Hey, do you happen to know where the crimpers are?"

"You can use mine." Big, perfect grin.

Sadly, I had to turn down his offer. I was already dating a guy in my networking class and using his crimpers.

But you see how rich the field is in strange places.

My mother is in her sixties. She has told me that she frequently gets hit on at Lowe's and at the local Bob Evans. One of my friends who is retired has also had the same experience at the local Bob Evans. It's close to a hospital, where a lot of women can eat dinner in peace and quiet after a shift. There are a lot of people who eat alone there with books, dressed in scrubs.

And there are vultures there. Old vultures in golf pants with sunglasses who will take your inventory.

My mother tells me that she was crossing the parking lot when she saw two fellas from the senior set talking to each other. One was giving the others pointers on cruising for chicks at Bob Evans:

" check out their cars, first. If a woman has a nice car, that means she has a job. And health benefits. Watch how she walks - you can tell if she's healthy. Then, see if she sits down alone and brings a magazine. If she does, ask her if she wants company." The guy leans in to his friend. "And then you can check to see if she still has all of her own teeth."

My mother gave the two of them a dirty look as she passed by. But that didn't stop one of the guys from scuttling up to open the door for her and following her inside.

"Would you like some company--?"

"No," she snapped.  "I would not."

I'm sure that she showed him her fangs, too. All original. My mom is a no-nonsense woman who doesn't stand for being treated like cattle.

So...getting hit on is often all about the venue. The oddest places can be hotspots for singles' activity.

Makes you wonder about the scene down at your local post office, doesn't it?


  1. Okay, your mom's Bob Evans story totally trumps our lame grocery store experiences!

  2. Zomg, I can't decide which scenario made me laugh harder -- "crimps & cables" or "the denture inspector."

    ~wipes eyes~

    Excellent, excellent post.

  3. Geek hits are the greatest. Obscure scifi movie quotes for the win, right? As for Bob Evans, no.

    And thank you very much for the shoutbout. I'm sitting in a gym, signing books this morning. Yeah, I go all the glamorous places. :D. It's great - my mom works here and has talked up the books so much, I have a small but dedicated readership in Poulsbo. No way I'm not going to give them first shot at Enemy Games.

  4. LMAO. My mom's pretty funny...she's had a couple of odd experiences at that particular Bob Evans. She calls the guys that lurk there the "Viagra Cowboys."

  5. Thanks, KAK! Like they is everywhere! Most often, it's just the stuff of everyday life, and I find that stuff to be oddly satisfying.

    Congrats, Marcella! I hope you post some pix of your signing! Inquiring minds want to see! :-D

    As for the obscure sci-fi movie quotes, my beloved nerd husband keeps a collection of T-shirts with such sayings on them. My latest favorite is one that purports to be from the U.S.S. Nostromo. And also the one that announces he's "Rocking with Stephen Hawking."

    And, yes, I have 'em, too. Latest addition is one that says: "The Babe with the Power." Old school. ;-)

  6. Your mother sounds like a cool person.
    As for being hit upon: I really wouldn't know the hotspots for that over here (apart from the clubs and cafes and such).

  7. You would really enjoy her, Sullivan! She's a nice lady with a wicked sense of humor. :-)

  8. Great stories. Back when I was single, I probably would've gone for the guy. Tall skinny geeks with crimpers... :le sigh: And your mom rocks. "Viagra Cowboys" - too funny.

  9. Sadly, I used to work at Bob Evans.

    I don't think I was ever hit on there though... ;-)

  10. B.E., thanks! My mom is a lot of fun.

    And there's nothing on earth as fantastic as nerd love!

    Allison, I did my time waiting tables, too. Ponderosa. But I suspect that our teenage selves were not the target demographic for getting hit on there. ;-)