Wednesday, June 24, 2015

PESSIMISTS TOP 5 REASONS TO NEVER WRITE

1.) Stringing all those sentences together to make a novel is much harder than you think it is, especially if you don't do well with commitment and are not a self-starter. Falling into a diva rage (should you sell) upon seeing how an editor marks up your masterpiece will only complete your torturous demise.

2.) The near constant rejection is real. Depression, anxiety, and/or a penchant for overindulgence in alcohol, are often part of the author stereotype and stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

3.) Turns out, you DO need to know spelling, grammar, and all that English stuff from school. And quite a bit of math. And depending on your genre: science and history. Do not email your 10th grade English teacher and offer her apples to edit your novel. That ship has sailed, honey.

4.) Getting paid enough to live on is far more unlikely than likely.

5.) Differentiating between the 'voices in your head' being a psychotic thing and being an authorly thing can be a line as fine as frog hair.

BONUS: Sitting in the desk chair for hours on end is not cardio.

12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you!!!!! And I'm sorry. I wish some of these were not true. (:

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  2. Replies
    1. It is so much fun having all these people in my head....lol. but let me clear, my rice krispies do not talk to me. Occasionally a cookie screams "For the love of all thibg holy, eat me!" But the rice krispies are silent as the grave.

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    2. It's the Kahlua & whipped cream concoction you call coffee that whispers all the sweet nothings, right?

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  3. Replies
    1. I have one. I use it some but not as much as I should.

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