Holidays

by Allison Pang

Holidays for me are less about the particular act of celebration than they are a mental shift in the change of seasons.  They become a sort of an inner trigger - like a little voice in my head says something like "Now it's Fall. Time to begin the nesting." That is the part that comforts me most.

In most cases, holidays were initially made to indicate the turning of the year. When to plant. When to harvest. You could argue that the rest of the trappings were merely added later to entice us to "buy things." Which sort of makes all holidays made up in one way or another. (Assuming they weren't ham fisted on top of an older pagan celebration to make it "safe.")

Obviously as a kid the usual holidays that involved gift giving or candy tended to get the most attention - and I'll admit that I relive that a bit more than I used to through the eyes of my own children these days.

But to be honest, I don't usually want to be bothered. Call it commercialism of what ought to be at least somewhat sacred, maybe. I dislike holidays that tell me how I ought to feel or ought to behave - i.e. Valentine's Day. I guess I've never quite understood the need for a specific day to display the wealth of my feelings for someone simply based upon a Hallmark card and a box of chocolate. I always feel like a fake when I fill out a card.

Flowers or gifts that come randomly are far more precious and meaningful.

Most of the time I don't pay too much attention to the specifics of the holidays. (And certainly not from any sort of religious implication - I just don't have it in me anymore.). My family gets along pretty well, so there's never been any issue about seeing each other during these times. I tend to look forward to it, and even the chaos that comes along as part of the package. These are times of reconnection for me.

On the other hand, I cannot and do not cook. We will probably never host any of the major holidays at my home. Sometimes this makes me sad, but I have no desire to learn how to cook a turkey or make apple pie. Food for me is mostly fuel. I can appreciate the effort that goes into making it, but it's not something I feel the need to spend my energy on.

I'm more than happy to clean the dishes, though.