Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

40 cake

This week’s theme is TIME, and this week I had a birthday. A big one.

Forty is a milestone that seems weird. That big number isn’t mine. It can’t be. I don’t feel forty.

Among the presents was a CD, Judas Priest’s Defenders of the Faith. I looked at the back, squeeing, eager to hear Freewheel Burning and my favorite, Love Bites. Then I saw it. The year the record was released. 1984. linda guitar (2)

In my mind it was suddenly ‘86 again. My hair was a big frizzy perm and I was just a rock-n-roll nerd wearing spandex while I jammed on my guitar in my bedroom…sometimes to this music.

The memory was fond. The realization that it was twenty-four years ago was not.

It seems like yesterday, but where has all that TIME gone? It’s leaked into photographs, crawled into scrapbooks, and burrowed into memories.


So, go back in TIME with me, Linda--your Hump-Day Word-Whore, and reminisce on this:

You know you’re stuck between Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers when:

  • You remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
  • In your fifth grade class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
  • You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song.
  • The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.
  • You ever rang someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
  • Three words: Atari, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.
  • You remember Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.
  • While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.
  • You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was.
  • You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
  • You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
  • You've ever conversationally used the phrase, "Jane, you ignorant slut!".
  • You watched HR Puffenstuf as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time.
  • Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
  • You're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing.
  • You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna or Cyndi Lauper video.
  • The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during "Crazy for You," by Madonna.
  • You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.
  • The phrase "Where's the beef," still doubles you over with laughter.
  • You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
  • This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the theaters, you are now a teenager and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt.
  • You've ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay.
  • You're doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major.
  • You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
  • U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now.
  • You ever used the phrase "Kiss mah grits!" in conversation.
  • You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
  • You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.
  • You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding on General Hospital.
  • You remember, "Hey, let's be careful out there."
  • You're parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.
  • You know who shot JR.
  • This rings a bell: "...and my name is Charlie. They work for me."
  • You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on after all.
  • You wanted to be a "man" like Lloyd Dobler
  • You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.
  • You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.
  • You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed 867-5309 and asked for Jenny.
  • All skate, change directions, means something to you.
  • You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
  • You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli inFast Times at Ridgemont High.
  • You owned a preppy handbook.
  • You can clap along to "Mickey" with the best of them.
  • You know who we mean when we mention The cop, the sailor, the biker, the cowboy, the Indian, and the construction worker.
  • "No, my brother, you have to go buy your own" means something to you
  • You remember when leg warmers were the thing to wear.
  • Some of your favorite commercials involved Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry.
  • You tried dancing like the gopher on Caddyshack.
  • "Come On Eileen" will always have a place in your heart.
  • You remember cigarette commercials on TV.
  • You can relate to most outfits worn on American Bandstand reruns.
  • You can name at least 6 Superfriends.
  • You always wondered why the professor could make a damn car with bamboo, but he could never build a boat toget them off the island.
  • You know by heart the theme songs to "Happy Days", "Laverne and Shirley", and "Three's Company".
  • You get fond memories watching "Muppet Show" reruns.
  • You remember Michael Jackson as a black man who wore parachute pants.
  • One word - breakdancing.
  • You remember running around outside, pointing up in the sky, yelling "Da plane, da plane!!".
  • You could never believe the things you saw on "That's Incredible".
  • You know at least 10 Helen Keller jokes.
  • You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to settle for second hand reports.
  • You remember when there was only PG and R none of this PG-13 crap.
  • You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
  • You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch.
  • You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search Of...".
  • Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick sized packages of Bazooka gum.
  • You had a crush on Bo, Luke, or Daisy Duke.
  • VCRs cost $2,000.
  • There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
  • Rotary dial telephones.
  • You actually believed that Mikey, famed for his Life cereal commercials, died after eating a packet of pop rocks and drinking a Coke.
  • The theme song to Greatest American Hero still comes back to you on occasion.
  • You know where the words "Bueller? Bueller?" came from.



    1. OMG I about peed my pants with happiness reading this post. While I never had big rocker hair (I had Cyndi Lauper one side shorter than the other and dreamed of Boy George hair) I got every reference you made. Sigh, I am "totally" good for the day.
      And I deny being 40 plus one. I consider myself ageless and eternally cool. Yeah right.

    2. Heh. I'm just a few years younger than you, but OMG, I remember all this stuff. Think you forgot to mention those hair clips - the ones with all those crazy long ribbons hanging from them? I had a ton of those and you could weave them on the top to make little designs or something.

      That and "friendship" beads. What a weird thing to give to people "Here, take this baby pin with some tiny colored beads on it."

    3. cautionary tale--"Ageless and eternally cool." I think that's my new motto.

      allison--friendship beads! OMG.

      There's no mention of garbage pail kids in there either.

    4. Nanu-Nanu! Happy Belated!

      I loved the listing! Here's a few more from the dusty memory banks:

      Acid Rain was totally America's fault.
      The Berlin Wall divided East and West Germany.
      Muammar Gaddafi of Libya was Public Enemy #1.
      Pet Shop Boys & Depeche were totally new.
      Ah-Ha! was, like, totally cuter than Wham!
      "Leather Daddy" and "Rob Halford" never mixed in our minds.
      Thix and Swatches were awesome.
      The Robot rocked the school dance along with the Cabbage Patch.
      Sweatshirts were always worn off of one shoulder.
      No one ever lit a match in the girls' locker room for fear of an AquaNet explosion.

      Ahh, good times. Good times.

    5. Heh. And don't forget Sly Fox's "Let's Go All the Way." Think that was my personal anthem for most of the 80's. That and Baltimora's "Tarzan Boy".

      @Linda - I think I still have a massive box of Garbage Pail Kids cards at my dad's house somewhere in the basement.

    6. @Linda - and sorry for the double post - but you realize you're a dead ringer for your heroine on the cover there? Same pose almost, same black tank top....Hmmm. ;-)

    7. I deny all knowledge of any of this. Rumors that I'm 46 and therefore firmly trapped in generational no-man's land cannot be confirmed at this time. But if you spent any high school rally stomping on bleachers in time to "We Will Rock You" (and then had a really bad day when Freddy Mercury died) you're probably right here with me. . .

    8. Jeez, now I'm totally smelling Aqua-Net. Do they even make that anymore???

      *Stomp Stomp CLAP!*
      *Stomp Stomp CLAP!*
      *Stomp Stomp CLAP!*

    9. bwwhaha! Allison, you're so right. Linda is rocking the same look as her cover model...should the flat iron have been used.

      Oh, crimping the hairs. Anyone remember that tragedy? Going to bed with your damp hair in tiny braids so you could have unnaturally small perfect waves?

      M&J, the DJ's cue for "All Skate" at our Roller Rink was "Another One Bites the Dust."

    10. I loved it! Jordache jeans...OMG, LOL. Do they still make those? I still have fond memories of my Big Wheels and we used to play Dukes of Hazzard when I was a kid...on our Big Wheels. Wasn't quite the same as the General Lee, but we were too cool to care.

      And what was with women have shoulders bigger than football players? Shoulder pads, how I loathed thee!

      And KAK, Ah-Ha really was way cuter than Wham!

    11. Great post!

      And, KAK...A-ha was ALWAYS cuter than the rest. Remember how cool the "Take on Me" video was?

      *Says the owner of the complete A-Ha collection, including Norwegian releases.*

    12. @Laura: That video was/is so cool! Love the song as well, but Hunting High and Low is my favourite.

      As for the list: lots of that stuff is probably very American as there's only a few I recognise.
      My owner tells me she saw Blue Lagoon at a school movie night. The teacher who was supervising was very shocked, but everyone else loved it ;-)

      And now I will be singing 'Macho, Macho Man' all evening.....

    13. Thanks everybody! 1986 gave us movies such as Top Gun, Aliens, Labrinth, Crocodile Dundee, and Pretty in Pink, and it gave us hits like Addicted to Love, Rock Me Amadeus, and You Give Love a Bad Name. 1987 was the year of Beverly Hills Cop II, Lethal Weapon, The Princess Bride, The Lost Boys and Robocop. For hit singles it was Here I Go Again, I Want Your Sex, and Mony Mony. And the fact that the latter song titles seem to be a lewd sentence all on their own is completely coincidental. ;-)

    14. Holy crap, I just listened to the theme from "Greatest American Hero" like two hours ago! (Granted, I was too young to watch it when it first came out, but that's what DVDs are for.)

    15. This so took me back and I had to facebook my buds from back in the day to read it. Waht a great post.

    16. just found this blog just made my whole life flash before my eyes! . I recently quoted "where's the beef?" Remember when you had to get up to change the channels and sometimes had to use the pliers to do it? Let us not forget having to talk in the kitchen because the phone cord wouldn't reach any further!

    17. Loved the post. Brought back memories. Yesterday at work we were talking about the cool stuff from our childhood including paper fortune tellers. I had to search the internet on how to make those. Now those are timeless!