ALL THE PRINTERS HATE ME

Tech Fails...ah...tech fails. Let me pick one type of the myriad recurring tech fails in my life. 

 

ALL THE PRINTERS HATE ME.

 

At the day job, mine works fine... for a day or two, then it breaks down. While that bitch works JUST FINE with whatever port it is next plugged into, the replacement switched into my office promptly experiences delirium tremens at the absence of mainlining someone else's USB jack.

 

I JUST WANT TO PRINT DAMMIT!

 

I'm not tweaking their "rollers" on the sly, nor am I forcing "crumpled paper" into their "feeder" because I have a thing for watching it try to manage a "ream." Maybe all the printers I have access to LIKE IT ROUGH and I just fail to play with their "cartridges" enough or smack their "circuit boards" in the way that makes them "put ink to paper" so hard. 

 

Regardless, I don't even know enough about it to tell you what I did wrong, or how it was fixed because I guarantee I didn't fix it. So instead, enjoy these humorous videos about tech fails. **Yes Tobuscus can be a wee bit of a spaz, but he's great. Watch.

 

 

 

 

 

Technology is Grand...When It Works

When it comes to smart phones, phablets, and smartwatches I choose to be a Luddite. I've a faux crackberry circa 2009. I keep it mainly for emergencies and the occasional text. While innovations in newer technology are awesome--by the truest definition--I have issues with the culture surrounding them. I despise being omni-connected. I abhor the external expectations of being always available, always reachable. I loathe the new normal of six people sitting at a table and no one is having a verbal conversation with the people right in front of them. I cringe when face-to-face meetings are interrupted by someone taking a call or answering a text; thereby relegating the person present in their company to lesser value. Their time less respected. Their companionship less desired.

Manners have gone so far out the window as to be orbiting the International Space Station. 

 #GetOffMyLawn

That said, I adore the convenience of modern tech--wireless connections, long-life laptops/tablets, online shopping, and even select social media sites. I am a Mistress of Google-Fu. Twitter is my favorite distraction, and I'm waiting for Facebook to implode. 

Then Tech Fails... 

There is no more weighted a Frisbee than a personal computer that does not work as designed. I am, for the most part, a patient person...until tech fails. I go from Zen to keening banshee toot-sweet. Adware software bobs in my wake. Hardware fragments litter my trail of destruction. I have zero tolerance for lag time, auto-reboots, buggy updates, and security ware that fails to do its damn job. 

To prevent my writer's life turning to shambles during such times, I back-up my files to cloud storage and thumb drives. Cloud-storage daily. Thumb-drives...ought to be weekly, but end up being quarterly (that'll eventually bite me in the ass, I'm sure). The redundancy may seem excessive, but when you're weeping over a lost WiP an extra two minutes a week of dragging & dropping doesn't seem like such an high investment.

Now, while I loves me my PC, I don't know squat about Macs. I've tried to learn. They all ended up as Frisbees. Oh, and anything gaming related? Utterly clueless...unless it's Mahjong. I totally space out while playing Mahjong.

Report from Mile Hi Con!

I'm at Mile Hi Con in Denver this weekend, where I've had the great pleasure of becoming friends with Kevin Hearne. I'd heard from many mutual acquaintances what a great guy he is and the tales proved true. Here we are in the bar, which is why you'll have to forgive the typical alcohol-blur.

This is my first time attending Mile Hi Con, which is in its 47th year. The whole time I was growing up in Denver, nursing my private Star Trek habit, I had no idea there were people like me assembling nearby.

It's been a great weekend. The panels are startlingly well attended. Yesterday morning, I attended a meeting of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA), which was most informative and terrific for meeting people I'd only ever talked to online. Then I was on a panel on Writing Characters with Disabilities, which was jam-packed, standing room only - upwards of 70 people in that tiny room. We could have talked a couple more hours, too.

Then we dashed off to put in a cameo at my granddaughter Aerro's painting party. We got her a copy of Ursula Vernon's HAMSTER PRINCESS, signed by the author, as we were on a kickass panel together yesterday afternoon on Fairytale Retellings. You can't tell here, but the cover has PURPLE GLITTER. It's awesomely clever. And the panel was super fun. We got on a whole riff about why there are so many talking horses in fairytales - and no one marries them. Not like they marry talking frogs, birds, sheep, etc. Deep thoughts, here at Mile Hi Con, people. I was also on a panel discussing heroism in fantasy and played a reader version of the dating game. Then out to dinner with Kevin Hearne and Carrie Vaughn among other friends. If you want the play-by-play there, check our Twitter feeds.

If you dare. Warning: NSFW

This afternoon I'll be on a panel with Kevin Hearne, Warren Hammond, Stant Litore and Carol Berg on creating mythologies, which I'm really excited about. Will be great to hear what everyone has to say!

Oh, and ostensibly this week's topic is: I need FB to f*cking work / Terror Tales of Tech Fails.

This ought to be amusing, folks.