Nice Girls Don't Write Smut. Except When They Do.

by Allison Pang

Before I get into my post here today, I just want to give a shout of massive congratulations to our fellow Word Whore, Kerry Schafer! Kerry's accepted representation by the fabulous Deidre Knight (and I'll let Kerry tell you all about it on Saturday after she's had a little time to let it all sink in.) Congrats Kerry!)


*ahem*

And now back to our regularly scheduled post, aye?

I've actually been a tad envious at some of these earlier posts this week, namely when it comes to sharing writing.  Since my mother passed away 10 years ago, she's obviously never had a chance to read anything I've done (not since the early days of high school maybe?) And to be honest, her mindset was always far more practical than fanciful - writing was a hobby, not possible job potential.

I'd like to think she would have read my books, though.

My dad? I had to laugh about that because smut is not his thing. He's read A Brush of Darkness. Bought it in bulk and handed it out to his law interns. (When I found out about that, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Dad. You're a judge. And you're handing out books that I wrote. To your employees. With demon sex scenes in them.")

*sits back to wait for the sexual harassment lawsuits to start up.*

To be fair, I did warn him there were smutty scenes involved.

"Oh, like Catcher in the Rye?"

No, Dad. Not like Catcher in the Rye. But points for trying.

On a good note, I actually got hit up by a fair number of the interns who did, in fact, read it and liked it, so yay for that.

But as far as the smut scenes themselves go? We don't talk about them.  Maybe it's that Irish Catholic upbringing. Maybe he skips them completely. I don't ask. His overall opinion was that sex sells, so it's perfectly fine for me to have it in my books. (Although, I have to admit that when I mentioned I'd gotten dinged in the Huffington Post a few months ago (Worst Paranormal Sex Scenes) for using "turgid magnificence" (in a tongue-in-cheek way, mind - bleah for context), his only comment on the matter was "Well, you don't really want to be *good* at writing that sort of thing, do you?"

And I think that's sort of the line in the sand for him. Okay to write about it, okay to have it in the books...but don't smut it up TOO much, because...what? People will think I'm into it? I have no idea. Maybe it's a father/daughter thing.

Other family members? I heard from one aunt who loved it - but otherwise, I haven't heard a single peep out of any of them. Except for that through the grapevine type of thing. "Where does she come up with this sort of thing?" "She's got a good imagination, anyway." "It was...uh...interesting."

To be fair, a lot of that may have been less about the smut and more about the fact that it's Urban Fantasy. It's not their thing, and that's okay. It may also have been the whole first person thing. I think for a lot of people, that writing voice sounds an awful lot like *me* and that becomes a tad too personal for them to want to relate to. (Don't even get me started on the co-workers...)

"If you were actually sleeping with demons, I'd be concerned..." (Yeah, I got that one too.)

(A few certain very religious family members have basically been told not to even pick it up. The ones who think reading Harry Potter is cause for damnation? Yeah, I'd probably be disowned because of demon peen.)

Although the best thing? Getting hit up by a much older 3rd cousin who I've never met on Facebook. He read it and was totally scandalized by the language and smut...but enjoyed it anyway. (And was probably the ONLY person who got/commented on the King and I reference I threw in there.)

Is a puzzlement, indeed.

Some Things Daddies Don't Want to Know

by KAK 

A lot of kids, when they go off to college, get a lecture from mom and dad on responsibility, attaining goals, or how a telephone works for more than just texting. My father, a man more Victorian than Victoria, gave me the most valuable piece of advice.

Some things daddies don't want to know.

Sound, sage, advice. Advice I definitely apply to certain genres I've written. Those erotica novels burning up my hard drive? Handing one of those to my dad? Nay, nay. No, no. Nein, nein. The high fantasy with a protagonist who has a penchant for blood play? Yeah, sure. Why the difference? Because erotica is 93% sex. Dad can't "gloss over" that. The high fantasy? The tawdry bits are maybe 15%. We can sit around the holiday dinner table and discuss the other 85% of the book without embarrassing either one of us.

Mom's a whole different sort of story.

My mother is very frank about sex...often in a cover-your-ears and scream "TMI" sort of way. Mom wouldn't be remotely offended by a vanilla sex scene. She'd read it and move along. Thing is, I don't really write vanilla sex. So, while she'd read all about hunchbacking happening, there'd inevitably be the point and time at which she would close the book, set it on her bedside table, pick up the phone, and call me. Not to discuss the mechanics of whatever acrobatics went on, but to have a heart-to-heart about the psychological ramifications of what the characters are demonstrating and how that's being reflected in my real life.

There are some things daughters don't want to discuss.

My folks are incredibly supportive of my writing aspirations. They eagerly await the day they can buy the first 1000 copies of whatever I manage to get published. They are standing by ready to be my mobile marketing machine. Mom & Dad the Street Team. The day I can put a book in their hands, they will be off and running. That book will just happen to be a High Fantasy.

Erotica? There are some things I only want you, dear readers, to know.

So tell me, would you ever gift your parents with an erotica novel? Why or why not?

Oh! Eek! When your folks read your naughty bits.

FROM: James R. Tuck

Hello, hello, hello. It's me, the new kid on the block. Proud to be the first Man-Word Whore 'round these parts. I promise to try and do the wonderfully talented ladies here justice in their choice of including me.

So my first topic to post about is when your parents read the sex scenes you write.

Well, it hasn't happened yet since the book isn't out until Feb 7. 2012 (BLOOD AND BULLETS from Kensington. End shameless plug.) but it should generate a conversation at least. That is, if my mom makes it to the vampire brothel/strip joint much less to the actual naughty scene.

See, I am a Southern boy. I was born and bred in Georgia. I grew up going to church. (In fact, for a very short window of my life I was a Church of God youth pastor.) My mom still goes to the church that I went to most of my young life, from 13 until my early 20's. She is morally conservative. She was only ever married to my father and to my knowledge has never really even dated anyone but him, not even in the decade plus he was taken by the cancer. She is your typical, Southern, religious, totally awesome mom. And she is proud that her son wrote a book, but I am trying to think of a way to let her know that my book, well, it ain't for her.

I wrote it because I wanted a DARK, violent, thrill ride of a kick ass book. I had hit a streak of reading books in urban fantasy that were supposed to be dark and violent but wound up being really tame IMHO. I set out to push the edge of Urban Fantasy. To not treat it like a nice safe thing. And I think I succeeded, I mean I put some really crazy shit in my book.

So, I guess I'm not so much worried about the racy bits with my mom because I don't think she'll get past the bloody violence and the four-letter words that I used like it was my job. I mean, is a vampire handjob all that shocking after you blow a hole clean through someone's chest?

I still feel I should give my dear mother a heads up though, before she runs out to buy the book. Hmmmmm, maybe I should call her. (I know, when in doubt you should always call your mom and say hello.)

If you have any advice on how to break the news leave it in the comments!

Keep the faith until next time,

James R. Tuck

When Parents Read Your Sex Scenes

by Jeffe Kennedy

No, I'm not reading a sex scene to my folks, here. It's a poem I wrote for their wedding ceremony - my mom's third wedding, after being twice widowed. And yes, they totally asked me to write and read the poem for them.

I'm very blessed this way, in the support from my family. Not only has my mom always encouraged me, but so does Stepdad Dave.

So, do they read my very naughty books? (Sapphire and Petals & Thorns are both BDSM erotica and Feeding the Vampire is a very hot short. Speaking of which, Feeding the Vampire is up for Book of the Week here, if you feel like voting.)

Yes. Yes, they do.

I even dedicated Sapphire to them, because they were both so great about Petals and Thorns - talking it up to their friends, and never once acting like what I'd written was offensive in any way.

This makes my family unusual, I think.

My mom has always been very open about discussing sex or "making love," as she called it when I was growing up. She let me watch it in movies, because she always thought it was ridiculous to let kids see violence and not love. She told me that love-making is intense, powerful and full of joy, if you do it with the right person.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Enter Stepdad Dave, who is retired Air Force and far more conservative that us, in our frivolous party ways. But he's fit right in. My mom occasionally mentions that they bribe each other with offers of "unnatural sex." No, I have no idea what this entails.

There are some things even I don't want to know.

I think that's the key: openness without excessive detail. At least it works for us.

On a final note, this is an exciting week on Word Whores, as we are also opening up, expanding and adding our first MALE Word Whore!

Meet James R. Tuck.

He'll be our new Monday whore, so you'll be seeing a post from him tomorrow. We'll see if a man can be just as much of a Word Whore as we can.

Feel free to heckle.