Trope Change Up

Top 10 SciFi/Fantasy Tropes (and maybe a few off the cuff suggestions for changing them up)

1. Superpower/Chosen One - you know this one. Superman. X-Men. Avengers. Comic books. Movies. Selling lots of tickets to summer blockbuster movies. The Chosen One trope - The Hobbit. The Lord of the Rings. Guardian of the Galaxy. Any story that taps one character as The Savior of whatever the cause du cinema maybe. In these tropes, it should be noted, no one's ever just trying to save a puppy. It's the entire frickin' Universe. Always. Who knew we faced so many great, existential threats? CHANGING IT UP: The Chosen One trope is easy to alter, just go with 'it could have been anyone, but right here, today, it was me' or choose a group and forge a team - though this last one is a tiny bit trope-y, too, so it can't simply be a rehash of The Three Musketeers. You do need to have something to say about the macrocosm of society in your microcosm.
2. Parallel Universe(s) - Every permutation of possibility is fer REALS because parallel universes! All you need is one transporter malfunction to prove that you can function in universe not your own! Okay. Granted. This is now an actual hypothesis encompassed by string theory, though I doubt every much that most physicists buy into a sinister Mr. Spock. (Mirror, Mirror) CHANGING IT UP: This trope hasn't been entirely mined out yet, I don't think. There's plenty of room for interesting, clever parallel universe story telling. That said, before one ventures into a parallel universe, one should endeavor to answer a single question: WHY? What is it about that universe that shows up the characters or the central plot question better than this universe could? 'Cuz it'd be cool' is probably sufficient motivation for a Dungeons and Dragons game. In the basement.
3. Interstellar, Faster than Light Travel - Pretty much every scifi ever. Star Trek had warp drive. Star Wars had hyperspace. Farscape used wormholes. Dune folded space. Science fiction readers accept the trope of Faster than Light travel because few authors and few readers have the mathematical and scientific understanding to grasp a technical explanation of how faster than light travel might be possible. So we suspend disbelief and accept the shorthand because we'd just as soon get on with blowing shit up. DON'T CHANGE THIS ONE UP. Yeah. Don't care if you are a rocket scientist. Your readers won't follow your formulas for more than a line or two. Sorry. Trope this and move on.
4. SFF characters wanted: Straight white dudes only need apply - Have you noticed? Most SFF characters are straight white dudes. Because only white guys are stupid enough to get bitten by radioactive spiders? Or strap on a bunch of tech, some painted body armor and go swinging around Gothom dispensing vigilante justice? Or, you know, how only white guys with British accents ended up in outer space in Star Wars? CHANGING IT UP: If I have to explain this one, I will cut somebody.
5. Zombies - The undead are a big deal right now. Evil Dead. Walking Dead. Dawn of. Shawn of. So many Deads. Zombies at every turn. (Guilty - I did a zombie squirrel scene in a book because, c'mon. Zombie Squirrels, man!) Whether there's a rational explanation for zombies, a magical one, or no explanation at all, the undead ARE out to get you. Even in space - an argument can be made for Alien being a zombie equivalent because the critters, while alive, are so alien they may as well be the undead. They have the same hunger and the same persistence in hunting their prey. CHANGING IT UP: This is another question of WHY. Why zombies? Could your characters face the living? What is it about rotting corpses that furthers the story and character arcs in a way nothing else could? Again. 'It'd be cool and I want a cameo on The Walking Dead' probably isn't going to be sufficient to break you free of the trope trap.
6. Apocalypse - There are two kinds of Apocalypse trope: 1. The apocalypse as it is happening - the world is going to hell in a hand basket right now and my story follows that. Think disaster movies. 2. Post apocalypse - after the world has gone to hell in that hand basket. Planet of the Apes. Logan's Run. Mad Max. CHANGING IT UP: Okay. So 'apocalypse' does indicate that things aren't going so well for the human race - but you could chronicle the rebuild. The struggle to turn the apocalypse around. You can play around with what the actual apocalypse IS. Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke can be called an apocalyptic story - it does chronicle the end of the human race as we know it. But it isn't because of disease. Or natural disaster. Or the bomb. It's aliens who come to shepherd humanity into something Other. So many options for writing the merciless destruction of 7 billion souls...
7. Time Travel - Terminator. Star Trek - in just about every permutation of the franchise. In fact, there are so many time travel instances, there's a wiki page devoted to listing out the episodes and movies with time travel in them. In the Star Trek universe, time travel was such a thing, the writers finally invented time police to keep the time lines from being messed up. Given how easy it is to shoot oneself in the foot in a time travel (by creating a temporal paradox), time police would be handy in THIS universe. I give you the Terminator movies as evidence. CHANGING IT UP: No temporal paradoxes! Make sure MC actions in the past don't negate the entire plot. Don't go killing grandpa unless your daddy has already been conceived. Otherwise, you won't be born to go back in time to kill old granddad. You'll get tired of seeing this. But yeah. Why go anywhere in time? What purpose does it serve that can't be accommodated in the right here/right now of your story? If you have a specific answer to that, then more power to you. You've probably subverted the trope.
8. Robots/AI
9. Bug-Eyed Monsters
10. Fairy Tales are REAL

Oh look. I left the last three blank. Because by now, you know what I'll say. Robots/AI - any Isaac Asimov book (there's someone who changed up a trope by inventing the three laws). War Games (remember that movie?)  We all know that the robot/AI trope is about examining what it means to be human - and maybe to challenge where the line between sentient and merely cleverly programmed lies. Bug-Eyed Monsters - Scifi from the 50s and 60s featuring any creature out to predate the human race. Alien would totally count, except that the BEM trope requires that the monsters come to earth to get us. Total Cold War fears mirror. Fairy Tales as real - Once Upon a Time, Shrek, Ever After, Wicked

Point is tropes can be made to work for you. IF you're clear on why a trope is necessary to the fabric of your story. How do you do that? Dissect what you want that trope to say about your characters and your story. Why that trope? Why not another one? Could you reverse the trope or combine a couple of tropes into something newish that would heighten the story? How would that change what you're trying to say?

This is personal opinion only, but I suspect that tropes slide down the 'bad' side of story mountain when they're an unexamined, possibly lazy short-hand standing in for really understanding the point of a story. Conversely, I think that when tropes are applied consciously as tools used to ratchet tension, they can be elevated to something far more than trope.

Late Update from Con

 

It's a madhouse - Charlton Heston - Planet of the Apes

 

 

Funny thing about nerd mecca. The wifi and cell networks are seriously overloaded. You can send a text just fine. Getting a text is another matter. We've seen delays of up to a half hour in delivery. Not useful for 'Meet me by the Cthulhu Film Fest booth' messages. Getting solid wifi that isn't slower than Seattle drivers on the first sunny day in spring is also challenging. However. Here I am. Late and with nothing at all to offer on our topic this week, because I have exactly zero audiobooks.

 

Sole actor close encounter so far: Alan Tudyk. Don't look him up. Watch this clip for the project he and Nathan Fillion are doing. This was one of those 'out of context' close encounters. I was at lunch, sitting at a table right on the aisle. This means that my brain, slowed by the prospect of noms, failed to connect all the dots quickly enough. No photo. I was too slow on the draw. Also, the dude had suitcase and garment bag in tow. He was desperately trying to get to his hotel room. With a train of die-hard fan boys already on his butt.  His "Not now guys." was far kinder than a couple of hours on an airplane should have allowed. But there you go.

 

And now. The photos. And then I'm outta here. Have a great weekend!

 

Zombies in the elevators. The Marriott missed an opportunity. A few of my fellow con-goers and I agreed that they should have canned the usual insipid elevator music in favor of The Walking Dead theme.

This is a mockup of a quarantined LA - promoting the new Fear the Walking Dead series.

A World of Warcraft orc set up to promote the Warcraft movie

I met one of my personal heroes. The Tick. Any superhero who gets to say "Put the moon back, demon waif!" deserves my adoration. Bonus points if you can sing the theme song.

The Walking Dead booth inside the exhibition hall. Those are zombies. Get too close to the black barrier (lower left of photo) and you took your life into your hands.



Infrequently Asked Alien Zombie Questions

Perhaps in fear of the answers, few people ask me questions anymore. Maybe because of my answer to one of Jeffe's infrequently asked questions:

Am I an alien?

The jury is still out on that one.

I can say that this guy definitely IS:

Or at least, he's having a very bad day. That's a branch stuck in his wing feathers. Poor guy did eventually dislodge it.

Next question. Is it true there are zombies in rural WA state?
Yes.

A surprising lot of them are attracted to cameras, too, it seemed. As well as pursuing the poor slobs running from them. (Since I am here typing this answer to this question that never actually gets asked but perhaps should be, you may assume that I was not zombie fodder. Since we all know I'm gimped and easy zombie pickings, that I was not messily devoured shores up the case for me being an alien.)

Last question. If you were to look for me, where would you find me?

Why, drinking tea, of course.

Flash Fiction There's Bacon Involved

Ok, our task this week was to write a flash fiction using certain words our Readers gave us (thanks by the way!).

The scene takes place at an unnamed movie studio:

AMANDA: "I'm telling' ya, Sid, this script can't miss. It's got zombies that can only be killed with strips of bacon around their necks. We'll do that  odor-o-rama thing and drive the audiences wild. Everyone loves bacon. And we already got a star attached."

SID: "If you're talking about Sally Sue Silvania, she said she'd do the pic over her dead, gelatinous body, as I recall."

AMANDA considers: "Nah, we need her alive, not playing a zombie. I know she's got a big head about hitting the A List and winning all those awards in that chick flick she did about the delicious cupcake chef. That ain't enough to get her out of the last film she owes us on her contract." (Lowers her voice, moves closer to SID.)  "And I happen to know she has a thing for guys with um hardware. Have you seen that new hunk our boss just signed? If he doesn't have a piercing you-know-where, I'll play the part myself."

Will Sally Sue relent? Does the new guy have a piercing you-know-where? Is there enough bacon to save us all? Will the zombies take over the earth??? Coming to a theater near you in 360 Odor-o-rama SOON!

External Conflict - Picking At Scabs

Conflict generally comes in two flavors: Internal and External. They're easily defined. External conflict is guys with guns chasing you and trying to kill you. Internal conflict is your belief that you're trash and not worth saving - think of it as the psychological and emotional baggage that comes prepackaged with a character.

You already know I'm going to say that ANY conflict arises from character. Here's what I mean by that. In order to come up with plausible, interesting external conflict, I need to know exactly what kind of emotional and psychological issues my characters are carrying around. Why? Simple. External conflict exists to reflect and exacerbate internal conflict. Whatever you believe you cannot do, I, as author, must challenge you to do - and I have to make it terrible.

Example: you don't believe you can face a room full of zombie babies because you lost your baby to crazed, three-toed sloths six months ago. Guess where I'm going to drop you. I might also light that room full of rotting infants on fire with you in it - while you listen to all those raspy baby zombie voices whimpering in the gathering smoke. This is probably going to trigger you over the lose of your child and you'll have to make a horrifying decision. Kill all those creepy, crawly zombie ankle biters yourself to spare them the flames? Or run and let them all go up in the fire? You'll have to listen to their cries if you pick that last one. Or is that *your* baby's cry you hear?

External conflict should pick the scabs off the internal conflict sores. It should make characters bleed and leave them (at the black moment of the story) lying in a puddle of comingled blood and tears. Even if those are figurative.

By knowing what self-doubts, insecurities, fears and faulty beliefs linger within my characters, I know what kinds of external conflicts they have to face - anything that exposes those self-doubts, insecurities, fears and beliefs. Bonus points in plotting if the external conflict pushes a character past what she believes herself capable of withstanding. Such hard, implacable, external forces are necessary in fiction because novels compress the time it takes most mere mortals to change. Instinct tells us that without some pretty solid motivation, the hero is not going to just up and admit the error of his ways, resolve to be a better person and wander off into the sunset, no fuss, no muss. We have to rub his nose in his wrongheadedness. External conflict does that.

When I was planning and writing my first book, I knew the heroine had PTSD from having been a prisoner of war. Initially, it was a device that gave the hero some inroads into her psyche. In no way had I intended to hand that heroine back to the creature that had kept her prisoner. Yet. When I got blocked three quarters of the way through the book, it became clear that had to happen. It was her greatest fear and the greatest test that proved whether she'd learned her lessons from every other external conflict that had come before. (I hadn't wanted to give her back to the alien because in no way did I want the story to suggest that kind of thing could cure a complex issue like PTSD.) But hopefully, it's a reasonable example for how a character's own internal issues point up interesting external conflicts that will heighten those internal conflicts and make everything much, much worse.

Disease or Not Disease: That Is the Question

My disease post has to be prefaced by a confession. I am not one of The Walking Dead faithful. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show. But I only started watching this season, which is mighty late in the game. Sure. I read the first few graphic novels, but I didn't stick with them. They just weren't my cup of arsenic-laced cocoa at the time.

That said, I am a titch literal minded. Especially when it comes to something like the end of the world. I want to know how that came down. And now that this season's episodes are over I can ask the questions that no one else of my acquaintance seems to be able to answer.

What the hell? No. Seriously. I get that Rick and the other survivors don't know what happened. Whether the whole zombie thing was the result of disease or something else -let me say 'magic' in the absence of any other nonmedical mechanism. They have some indication from earlier episodes that everyone's infected with whatever this disease is. It doesn't matter how or when you die - in that world, if you die, you will turn into one of the undead until someone destroys your brain.

Did I mention we have Walking Dead viewing and potluck parties? Tasty.

Is the zombie plague in this show supposed to have been a disease or not? Based on some of the evidence - the way the disaster started and, subsequently spread, it seems like disease. Yet...I'm skeptical.

Clearly the zombie thing isn't transmitted person to person like strep throat. Transmission rates would be too slow to account for the outbreak described in the books and on the show. Viral transmission would make more sense. The disease could be airborne and could infect multiple people at any one go - when someone coughed or sneezed. If there's an incubation period, the infected, but not yet symptomatic, could travel anywhere in the world only to infect more people when symptoms did manifest. We've seen this actually happen with SARS and other illnesses.

The only problem is that in the course of human history, it's been proven following epidemic after epidemic, that if you infect a large enough segment of the species with a single disease, a certain percentage of that population will emerge as immune. Some will get sick and recover with no adverse effect. Some will never fall ill at all. It's as if their bodies are armored against that particular bug. (Which isn't to say that the next thing to come along won't kill them, but that's a different post.)

Still, there's no evidence of this on The Walking Dead. Not to mention that viruses aren't known for animating corpses. There *are* instances of zombie-like afflictions in the insect world - a fungus that takes over a certain species of ant. A wasp that uses venom to take over the nervous system of a certain species of beetle. In neither case is the victim actually dead - their living bodies are shanghaied. Obviously, this is not what's happening on The Walking Dead - not given the rotting, flesh falling away animated corpses we see on the show.

So work with me here. I want to be educated. What the hell happened and is still happening in the world of The Walking Dead??

The Best Laid Plans...

by Allison Pang

Probably the first issue with all of this is that I don't generally plan much of anything. Certainly not my writing, at any rate - but that also goes for basic things like...dinner. Or cleaning. Or paying bills. Or making travel arrangements.

(Which sometimes leads to some awkward situations - usually in the "hmmm, crap, I've missed my window for X")

*ahem*

So where does the contingency part come in?

I'm not entirely sure. Every once in a while the DH will be flipping the TV channels (in between SyFy classics such as "Mansquito") and runs across one of those Prepper shows.

For those not aware, Preppers are those people who are convinced that the world will end. Soon. Like those family members of Cold War yore who might have built bomb shelters many years ago, the new generation of doomsday survivors are much the same, planning for the ultimate contingency, as it were.

Now here's the thing - contingency plans are necessary for a lot of things. We train our children what to do in the case of a fire, for example. (Get out of the house through your window and everyone meets by the big tree in the front yard.)

And I totally get wanting to unplug or be more self-sufficient. I know plenty of people who grow their own food, raise chickens, don't use the internet.

There are plenty of survival skills out there that are worth learning for a number of reasons. (Like...how to survive in a snow storm or a bear attack or escape a car you just drove into a lake.)

That doesn't mean I think the world is going to go all Walking Dead any time soon, either.  I'm sure not every prepper is quite as nutbally as the ones on the show (reality TV, FTW), but it's a hard sell for me, to be honest.

I wish I could find the Terminator clip on YouTube - but should the zombie apocalypse come, I'm pretty sure my reaction would be along the sames lines as Sarah Connor: "Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean, am I tough, organized? I can't even balance my checkbook."

Or maybe I'd just sit on my roof with my AR-15 and plink away. Guess we'll find out.

Burying the Past

Happy Valentines Day, those of you who observe. I hope there's at least a little bit of chocolate in it for you.

Burying the Past

Recently, possibly during the Walking Dead midseason premiere, I got to wondering whether zombies aren't a sort of extended metaphor for all the things in our lives that ought to be dead and past, yet steadfastly refuse to remain buried.

 

We bury our emotions. Our memories. Traumas. Sometimes we're good at it. We toddle along looking for all the world like perfectly normal human beings. For a little while.

 

But you know, when you put something in the ground without killing it properly first, it usually refuses to stay buried. That stuff claws its way from the dank soil and shuffles out of the dark. Bloody, putrid and terrifying. 

 

Depending on what it was you tried to bury in the depths of your psyche that newly risen THING will try to devour you. Who wouldn't want to resolve that situation in a morally unambiguous way? A few rounds of ammo taking out a line of zombies seems so much -- cleaner -- than years of therapy.

 

All of this is germane this week, because I get to show you the cover to my new Urban Fantasy novel, NIGHTMARE INK. (Due out April 15 from Intermix)

 

The heroine of the book, Isa, is an expert at burying her past. She thinks. And she has a lot of past to bury.

 

With the needle of a tattoo gun, Isa Romanchzyk has the power to create and destroy. In her shop Nightmare Ink, Isa helps those in need by binding the powers embedded in their Live Ink—the magical tattoos that can enhance the life of the wearer, or end it.  But binding tattoos has earned Isa the contempt of her fellow artists—including her former lover Daniel.

When a friend comes to the shop with a tattoo on the verge of killing him, Isa can’t turn him away. For the first time in years, she works Live Ink into someone’s skin—something she swore she’d never do again. But breaking her vow soon becomes the least of her problems.

Isa is horrified to discover her friend’s body in the shop, but the real nightmare begins when she’s abducted and inked against her will.  Now, as she seeks retribution from the man who betrayed her, Isa must figure out how to bind her Living Tattoo before it consumes her completely...

Some of My Best Friends Are Zombies

Zombies. The living dead. What makes the specter of the zombie apocalypse so compelling that even the CDC has begun using it as a way to get visibility for their disaster preparedness web page?

 

I suspect a couple of reasons.

1. We all have last human standing fantasies. . . unless that's just me and I need to see my MD about meds. . . but you *do*, right? You know - the last person on earth thing? You're alone and finally, FINALLY, you rule the world!
2. We're already living the zombie apocalypse in some sense - there's a theory out there (written up on the back of the original Walking Dead graphic novels, in fact) that the entire zombie trope is social commentary. This interpretation appeals to me. How many of us feel like we're living in a world where most people don't question their choices, or examine their motives? We all know people who do what's expected - get married, have the 2.5 children, get up, go to work day in and day out until the day they die. This isn't a bad thing IF it's what these people consciously chose because it gave them joy to choose it. Yeah. I see you shaking your head. Questioning, much less acting counter to, societal expectation is HARD. Thus: The living dead. The great thing about zombies is that every single individual on earth is entirely able to feel like he or she is the only person really alive and that everyone *else* are the zombies. Brilliant marketing, undead. Brilliant marketing.

As far as writing any of the undead in a cool, new way? I'm not sure I'd worry about it. No. I take that back. I'm sure I wouldn't worry about it. Remember how incensed people got over vampires that sparkle as if they were fairies? Most of our monsters come complete with a preset canon of 'rules'. If you follow zombie lore at all, there's something akin to a religious debate over whether zombies are slow, shambling things or insanely fast and agile. The arguments get heated. My take is: Why limit yourself? If I can up my body count by having zombies of all kinds, I'm there. The point it took me forever to get to is that if you want originality in your monster story, invent a new monster or save the quest for 'orginal' for the rest of the story.

 

Check out World War Z by Max Brooks. The audiobook is fabulously good. Cast of hundreds - some actors you'll recognize. The great thing about this story is that it touches on just about every aspect mentioned this week. Social commentary, political commentary, man against nature, and man's inhumanity to man - but it doesn't leave it there. Max Brooks does exactly what James encouraged us to do - he dug deeper and wrote about what that inhumanity costs the person who exhibits it.

 

This is why zombies are interesting to me, even if I haven't watched much more than Army of Darkness and Resident Evil. There's so much rich material there. So many human foibles to exploit among the survivors. That's far more interesting than the soulless, emotionless, relentless drive the zombies have for your delectable brain. Mmm. Pudding!

Wasteland

by Allison Pang

So, first off - thanks for all the well-wishes for the release of A Trace of Moonlight! :D

Second - a contingent of Word Whores has descended upon World Fantasy Con this week in Toronto, so if you're there, come say hi. Linda and I both have readings and Jeffe is moderating a panel, so we're nicely in the thick of things.

*muppet flails*

Otherwise, I had been going to write a little something about zombies today. I *do* like zombie movies, oddly enough - even though you could argue that they're a metaphor for something entirely different. (Sort of like vampires are all about erotic repression, I guess.) I don't know exactly what zombies represent. Maybe the breakdown of humanity, or hell, maybe they represent our own inner turmoil. Double-tap your fears before they consume you?

The best zombie stories aren't always about the zombies anyway (not counting things like Diana Rowland's White Trash Zombie or Mark Henry's Amanda Feral books - where the protag *is* a zombie.) Usually you've got a group of people in some horrible zombie-ridden world and it's about how *they* survive. It's kind of fun to watch the breakdown of society into it's absolute bare bones and see what we're really made of.

Except I'm not really in the mood to talk about society breakdowns.  As most of you know, Hurricane Sandy ran rampant up the east coast this week and basically decimated the Jersey shore and part of NYC. I don't know if my beloved beach house is even still standing. (I might know this weekend if my dad can get on the island - they aren't letting anyone on right now). But honestly, it's not looking too good. Even if it somehow survived, the rest of the island is just...gone. The place I had my wedding reception was completely washed away. The pavilion on the beach where my brother got married is gone. Many of my childhood memories are just...gone.

And I'm lucky. Some people lost everything in this storm. I still have my family and if the house is gone, well...it was a summer home. It can be rebuilt.  Some people lost their actual homes or cars, and that's far more catastrophic.

But looking at the pictures of the aftermath- it doesn't feel real. It looks like something out of The Walking Dead. There's debris everywhere. Broken houses, overturned boats, sand all over the streets and still several feet of standing water. No electricity.  Some places burned down. The amusement park at Seaside Heights is partially in the ocean. (which feels like some sort of surreal scene from a post-apocalyptic zombie movie, doesn't it?)

Also - there were photoshopped images of sharks swimming up the streets. While possible...no. But genuinely creepy to think about.

Anyway. Guess that's all I've really got to say at the moment. Obviously many other places got hit hard - NYC still has a flooded subway and shut down airports, so it's going to be a really interesting time in the next few weeks as people put the pieces back together.

Here's hoping the actual zombies stay away. ;-)

WRITING ZOMBIES THE HARD WAY

The Walking Dead kicks ass.

Now that that is out of the way.

Writing zombies is fun. It really is. But it is hard to come up with anything new in the genre since it exploded in the last few years. But sometimes you don't have to do something new to write a fresh take. Sometimes we WANT what we expect....for the most part. If I'm reading a zombie book I like to read about the zombies, the band of survivors who try to scrabble for life in a dead world, the zombie kills, I want that in the zombie book and most readers do too. You are probably NOT going to get fans of zombies to read your work if you radically change what makes zombies awesome.

So work the edges. Creep the corners. Come at them in the small surprises. Take the expected and turn it upside down.

This may come in the form of something like Zombieland, a terrific movie that embraced the inherent ridiculousness of what a zombie apocalypse would be like.

It may be like Kevin J. Anderson's Dan Chambeaux novel about a zombie detective which is full of the humor of being the walking dead.

Or it may be like the Walking Dead where Robert Kirkman and company use the zombie apocalypse to explore just to what ends a group of humans will go to survive and what humanity means when the world forces you to be inhumane.

In my zombie story "He Stopped Loving Her Today" I took an intimate love story and set it in a world of zombies. A man on the ragged edge of survival and the love of his life. I don't know that I added anything "new" to the genre, except maybe the Sloshers. Those are zombies who swell up as they decay, filling with gasses from decomposition until their skin is stretched tight like a balloon and when they shamble they slosh like a half-filled water balloon.  But I did manage to tell a fresh zombie tale by focusing on one specific incident and the human reaction to a world gone mad and undead. The story is about love and desperation, the zombies are a device.

 ("He Stopped Loving Her Today" is still available in ONE BUCK ZOMBIES for only .99 cents and you get 4 other stories also! Click HERE to go buy. #endshamelessselfpromotion)

Just remember that most good zombie stories start in the form of: "Wouldn't it be cool if..."

And to leave you, here is a youtube clip of horror author Brian Keene reading his short story "Fast Zombies Suck" (which I am so freaking jealous of that title I could eat a brain.)

How to Keep Zombies Fresh

I like to use a walk-in freezer, myself.

Ha ha. I don't get to make zombie jokes very often because, well, I don't really have the zombie thing.

I confess. I don't get it.

I mean - yes, I watched Night of the Living Dead long ago on a hot summer afternoon that did nothing to dispel the dark creepiness of that movie. It scared me silly. And then it pissed me off that the one guy who manages to survive the night gets mistaken for a zombie in the morning and killed.

Really hope that wasn't a spoiler for anyone. But hey, that movie is nearly as old as I am, so I think you've had time to see it.

Still, with all of you gleefully going on about the zombie apocalypse, double taps and so forth seeming to enjoy it SO much, I feel like the kid in the corner pointing at the shuffling creature and saying "dude, a toddler could outrun that thing."

No, no - I get why this is a bit of horror for the human mind. Part of our fear and dread of death. Revenants are the fulfillment of both our greatest hopes and deepest terrors. Everyone at some point longs to have someone dead come back to them - and yet we know we can't have that and shouldn't want it. The utter wrongness of that reversal feeds the nightmare of the revenant. It also plays on our knowledge that we, too, will someday die. Zombies are the monsters we become.

So, to actually address this week's topic - how do you write about zombies or revenants and keep it feeling new.

I've already scattered those breadcrumbs, I hope.

You do it like you do to avoid any cliché - by digging beneath the surface of it. Instead of taking the easy route, go beneath, to the charge of emotion that fuels the thing. The inevitability of death and the subsequent corruption of the body. The perversion of natural order to bring the dead back to life. The obsessive terror that this, too, could happen to you....

Happy Halloween everyone!

And if you need a palate-cleanser after all that talk of death and would like to taste the opposite side of the coin, I'm participating in a fun little sale of erotic books. Sister Word Whore Carolyn Crane is also playing. You can check it out here.