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Jeffe's Networking Coattails
No. I'm not kidding. Who do you think got me on Twitter and suggested I listen more than I talk? Who do you suppose it was who grabbed my arm at RWA National and said, "Come with me. I'm going to teach you networking. In the BAR. You're going to meet people!" And I did. Lovely people. Some of whom are still my friends. Remarkably, so is the ever patient Jeffe. :D

Trying to coach a socially awkward, rampant introvert in networking cannot be remotely easy work. And it's funny, but while I have that acting degree, and you'd think it would make me outgoing as heck, mostly all it does is give me the ability to talk about nothing for thirty minutes straight. True story. Another in my long list of stupid human tricks. Give me a cup of tea and a topic and I'll demonstrate some day. (What I want to know is why I can't parlay that BS talent into a scintillating blog?? Different brain pathways, maybe?)

At any rate, yes, yes. Network. If that wigs you out the way it did me, reframe it. Be interested in people. Ask questions of people. Networking isn't about being the center of the solar system. It's about jetting in, looking at someone and going, "Oooo! Interesting! Hey, that thing you're doing with the rings and moons? That's wicked cool! What made you do that?" That's the nerd way of saying an honest interest in the people around you is 90% of the networking battle. It doesn't matter if that interest is voiced in person, via email, blog posts, Twitter, Facebook, or any other social media. Interacting with people is the name of the game. INTER acting. Chances are the people you're chatting are just as nervous about the whole talking to strangers thing as you are. The thing that helped me most on that front was to make it a game. At any function, I must leave the group I normally hang with at least once and sit at a table full of strangers. It is then my job to begin drawing those strangers out. "Hi, my name is...Where are you from?  What do you write/edit/represent/think of current writing drama du jour..." Sure it's stilted at first, but that eventually breaks up and a group of strangers are chattering and laughing away. That's fun.

Still. It is true that I am a novice networker. Jeffe is the master. Grasshopper has a lot to learn yet. 

Perils of the Writer: Networking in the Modern World

It still strikes me as odd how many "friends" I have that I've never met.  This is despite having lived through various iterations of on-line interactivity, but we've reached a point culturally where saying "that's an internet friend" is something you can say without people thinking it's completely weird.  And that is completely weird.

But it's a weird I love living in.

It is also part of what the writing community-- in being a community-- is built on.  I've maintained email and social media connections with writers that I've never met or only met briefly.  I've never met any of the Word Whores, despite group blogging with them.  My joining up with them came about entire though on-line connection.

This isn't really a new thing, though, just because we live in the modern, internet age.  Genre writers in the past would do the same thing, just the old-fashioned way.  Hell, Ursula LeGuin had a long and involved relationship of correspondence with James Tiptree, Jr., without meeting face-to-face and finding out Tiptree was actually Alice Sheldon.

Of course, like with all social media elements of the writing business, you have to ask yourself, how much do I want to deal with it?  Do I have to be on Facebook and Twitter and Pinterest and form bonds with other genre authors and spend half my day doing that stuff?  No, not at all.  But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't helpful.  That interconnectivity, that mutual recognition, it has a rising tide effect.  If you wonder how one book or another becomes the "buzz book", a lot of that comes from other authors.  So, no, you don't have to do it, but it can be a good thing.

Plus, the writing community-- especially the genre writing community-- are cool people.  Reach out to them.  They will probably reach right back.

Introverts: The Time to Network Is ... Whenever The Mood Strikes

Networking in the Digital Age. The marketing message might as well be, "Yo, Introverts, it's safe to say hi then run away."

Note: I said "hi" not "Buy My Book, Buhbye"

Connecting with others at one's convenience around topics of one's true interests is what made the general population adopt the Internet. Trust me. I was there in the thick of it. (Yes, it was a few years after dinosaurs roamed the earth.)

Why Network: There are two reasons to network: visibility and opportunity. You get what you give. The tri-fold law of Karma plays heavily. Networking is not about direct sales. It's about creating and fostering relationships. While some relationships may not seem to have a direct correlation to our goals, we never know who else the people we meet know.

Where to Network: For writers--a notoriously introverted bunch--social media is dream come true. There are many, many different social sites to suit our various comfort levels of interaction. Jeffe was spot on when she wrote on Sunday, "if it ain't fun, don't do it." Is Facebook the bane of your existence? Try Pintrest instead. Twitter too hipster for you? Try LinkedIn. Taking "show not tell" to heart? Fire up a YouTube channel.

When to Network: We all lead busy lives, and writing needs to take priority over social networking. (The best marketing you can do is to write that next book!) Sometimes, that means we can't devote an hour or two a day to patrol our assorted networks. That's fine. The world keeps spinning without us. When we have a moment--and often it is just a moment--we connect with our networks and hopefully reengage in conversations. Time zone differences, offline work schedules, and life are all accepted justifications for our absences. And online, going offline is expected.

It's like having permanent permission to leave the party early! (Woot!)

So, while online networking can lead to offline meetups, we Introverts need not dread the interactions. The Digital Age is all about convenience and comfort--our convenience and comfort.  Go ahead, reach out to a stranger online. You might be connecting with your new best friend.

Networking in the Digital Age - Keeping It Fun

We went fishing yesterday. Which, in my world, means the man fishes and I sit in the sun and read. One of the ways the man and I are a good match - our favorite relaxation pastimes are compatible. It's good for me to get away from my desk and the laptop. Saturdays I typically take off from writing and getting out of the house adds to that mental relaxation.

But it's not quite as bucolic as it looks. I was reading on my iPad, which meant I could also chat with a book blogger who'd just finished THE TALON OF THE HAWK, along with posting photos of our day to Facebook and Twitter and replying to people who responded to those.

This is networking in the digital age for me.

I know some people out there might recoil at what I just described. They'd extoll the virtues of a paper book, the extended concentration of reading that without bouncing through various social media windows, of unplugging and going offline. There's a point to that - extended concentration offline does have a profound impact on my mind and well being. But I do that every day. I'm offline writing for hours six days a week.

When I'm not writing, or focusing on day job tasks, I'm online, popping in here and there. Networking.

See, I hate marketing. I don't trust it. I think it's manipulative and insincere. Yes, this is an issue of mine and I know it probably impacts my book sales. Still, it's a core belief for me. So I network instead. I like talking to people, especially those with shared interests like BOOKS. I especially like talking to people in controlled ways, where I can step back any time I like. Social media allows me to do that.

When authors complain about the amount of time and effort social media consumes, I sometimes wonder if they realize what a bounty of gifts the digital age has brought us. During my hours at the lake I finished reading one book, started another, and communicated with 500 people that I can count easily. Twitter doesn't count as easily, so it could be twice that.

More important - I had fun doing it.

I know we say that all the time, but it bears repeating. Social media should be fun. If it's not, stop right away. Step away. Close the window. Come back later. I often liken social media to parties. If you're not having fun at the party, people will notice and you'll do yourself damage instead of putting yourself in a positive light. I think Marcella's list from Friday, Top Ten Ways to Burn Down Your Public Persona, are great examples of how authors can poison their image because they're not having fun.

Networking is about making and *keeping* friendly relationships. The best way to do that is enjoy yourself and the people you talk to. When you stop having fun, the digital age lets you go dark and just watch the ripples in the lake for a while.