Liquor? I Don’t Even Like Her!

By KAK

Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows my alcoholic predilections.  I have a yen for the sweet, the tart, and the smooth.  I could wax eloquent or tawdry on my passions and repulsions long enough to make a Space Epic seem like a greeting card. Fortunately for you, this time of year demands that I focus on the emblematic color of every lush’s favorite holiday.

St. Paddy & Wearin’ o’ the Green!

Well, let’s hope you don’t end up wearing any of the green. That’d be alcohol abuse. There is absolutely no requirement to be Irish or Catholic to enjoy the green spirits — a functional liver is recommended. First up on the green liquors is:

Midori

This melon-flavored liquor has been on the bar scene since the late 70s. Its vibrant green color is instantly recognizable across the bar. Expect umbrellas with this one, at the very least, pixie plastic swords. Popular drinks mixed with Midori include: 

1. Melon Ball = Midori + Vodka + Citrus Juice (Orange, Pineapple, Grapefruit) 
2. Mid-Argrita = Midori + Tequila + Sour Mix 
3. Midori Splice = Midori + Coconut Rum + Pineapple Juice + Splash of Cream

More Recipes Here: http://www.midori-world.com/cocktail-recipe/index.html

If fruity isn’t your thing, don’t fret, there’s always the best booze to instill a little confidence at the end of a garlic-y date. 

Crème de Menthe

Seriously, its minty freshness is as close as you’ll get to a shot of mouthwash. There is no fear of puckering up after you’ve cleansed your palate with this. While this guy goes great by itself on the rocks, if you want to dress it up try. 

1. Grasshopper = CdM + White Crème de Cacao + Cream + Cinnamon Schnapps
2. Frozen Girl Scout (you know I had to) = CdM + Cream + Chocolate Ice Cream (blended)
3. Irish Pride = CdM + Amaretto + Splash of Lemon Juice

More Recipes Here: http://www.drinksmixer.com/cat/2407/

If you like your booze to cut rather than punch, and maybe even blow a little smoke in your face just before it knocks you to the floor, then reach for the evil green fairy.

Absinthe

With a flavor akin to Nyquil, Absinthe isn’t for the delicate flower. It’ll put some hairs on your chest, so have a waxing kit ready for the morning-after. Traditionally, it’s consumed by pouring Absinthe into a glass, placing a slotted spoon across the opening, resting a sugar cube on the spoon, and slowly dribbling ice cold water over the cube until it melts. Don’t worry, that pricking you feel is merely the gates of Hell opening. If breathing through your eye sockets isn’t your thing, try setting the fairy up on a date with one of these mixers:

1. Knock Out = Absinthe + Crème de Menthe + Gin + Dry Vermouth
2. Picasso = Absinthe + Citron + Drambuie + Lime
3. Wharf Rat = Absinthe + White Rum + Apricot Brandy + Orange Juice + Grenadine

More recipes here: http://www.originalabsinthe.com/absinthe_drinks.php

I love to expand my boozer horizons, so let me know your favorite green liquor and don’t forget to share a recipe!

Dirty Neat

by Jeffe Kennedy
It's kind of a cliché - that writers love to drink.

As if we are all, on some level, the starving artist who climbs to the drafty garret, bottle of cheap wine or absinthe clutched in a desperate hand, returning to those pages that hold us captive through the dark night while the liquor keeps us alive.

Or slowly kills us.

Both are romantic. The struggling for the art and the dying for it. Liquor is both joy and poison. It's all in the math, really.

I love to drink. I admit it freely. I come from an Irish Catholic family, where it's not a party until someone breaks out the wine. I love it all: wine, beer, whiskey, margaritas, frou-frou drinks and sake. I once won a beer tasting contest and I confess I enjoy the surprised blink from the bartender when I ask for my Jameson's neat.

I'm careful, though. Careful to moderate. To make sure I want it, not need it. My grandfather was an alcoholic and died of cirrhosis of the liver. None of us wants to follow in his footsteps. Fortunately, for me, I think his drive to drink came more from misery than from addictive behavior.

Still, I stop drinking every once in a while, just to make sure I can.

Otherwise, yes, I love my evening glass of wine. My favorite treat? A vodka martini, dirty and neat. Blue-cheese stuffed olives with that? Oh yes, yes, yes. The top pic is my version of a Caribbean Blue Martini, which I first had on Virgin Gorda, during a truly memorable evening when I first saw the Southern Cross. And, yes, I totally understood why I came that way.

I love to sit in a great bar. Thank you, everyone, for your efforts to ban smoking indoors - it's made a world of difference. Sitting for hours with lovely glasses and excellent conversation is one of the great joys in life. As the conventions approach, I already have drinks dates lined up on my calendar. People have offered to buy me drinks to celebrate my sale to Carina Press. Or to simply toast one another. It's an ancient ritual, to sit together and consecrate the privilege of safety and friendship.

So, if you're looking for me at convention, you know where to find me.