Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Liquor? I Don’t Even Like Her!

By KAK

Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows my alcoholic predilections.  I have a yen for the sweet, the tart, and the smooth.  I could wax eloquent or tawdry on my passions and repulsions long enough to make a Space Epic seem like a greeting card. Fortunately for you, this time of year demands that I focus on the emblematic color of every lush’s favorite holiday.

St. Paddy & Wearin’ o’ the Green!

Well, let’s hope you don’t end up wearing any of the green. That’d be alcohol abuse. There is absolutely no requirement to be Irish or Catholic to enjoy the green spirits — a functional liver is recommended. First up on the green liquors is:

Midori

This melon-flavored liquor has been on the bar scene since the late 70s. Its vibrant green color is instantly recognizable across the bar. Expect umbrellas with this one, at the very least, pixie plastic swords. Popular drinks mixed with Midori include: 
  1. Melon Ball = Midori + Vodka + Citrus Juice (Orange, Pineapple, Grapefruit) 
  2. Mid-Argrita = Midori + Tequila + Sour Mix 
  3. Midori Splice = Midori + Coconut Rum + Pineapple Juice + Splash of Cream


If fruity isn’t your thing, don’t fret, there’s always the best booze to instill a little confidence at the end of a garlic-y date. 

Crème de Menthe

Seriously, its minty freshness is as close as you’ll get to a shot of mouthwash. There is no fear of puckering up after you’ve cleansed your palate with this. While this guy goes great by itself on the rocks, if you want to dress it up try. 
  1. Grasshopper = CdM + White Crème de Cacao + Cream + Cinnamon Schnapps
  2. Frozen Girl Scout (you know I had to) = CdM + Cream + Chocolate Ice Cream (blended)
  3. Irish Pride = CdM + Amaretto + Splash of Lemon Juice


If you like your booze to cut rather than punch, and maybe even blow a little smoke in your face just before it knocks you to the floor, then reach for the evil green fairy.

Absinthe

With a flavor akin to Nyquil, Absinthe isn’t for the delicate flower. It’ll put some hairs on your chest, so have a waxing kit ready for the morning-after. Traditionally, it’s consumed by pouring Absinthe into a glass, placing a slotted spoon across the opening, resting a sugar cube on the spoon, and slowly dribbling ice cold water over the cube until it melts. Don’t worry, that pricking you feel is merely the gates of Hell opening. If breathing through your eye sockets isn’t your thing, try setting the fairy up on a date with one of these mixers:
  1. Knock Out = Absinthe + Crème de Menthe + Gin + Dry Vermouth
  2. Picasso = Absinthe + Citron + Drambuie + Lime
  3. Wharf Rat = Absinthe + White Rum + Apricot Brandy + Orange Juice + Grenadine

I love to expand my boozer horizons, so let me know your favorite green liquor and don’t forget to share a recipe!

12 comments:

  1. You know, I don't think I have a favorite green liquor. Though I can stand Creme de Menthe in brownies.

    Love the title of the post, though!

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  2. Oh man I'm having memories of Midori and Milk back in my college days!

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  3. Mmmm. Midori. When I actually could drink, I was definitely a Midori Sour girl. I still have two of their giant lizard shaped bottles...

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    1. Allison, I've been searching for one of those lizard shaped bottles since I saw one at my aunt's house. I want to buy one, an empty one even!

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  4. I have a huge weakness for mint hot cocoa...so pour some of that creme de menthe right on in.

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  5. I've only had absinthe twice. First time was better than the second...I think that was because it was with food and was not the cheap stuff. Needed Pepto Bismol with the second time. :-S

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  6. I never heard of the ice water thing with absinthe.
    I always put the sugarcube on the spoon, pour the absynthe over the sugarcube in the glass and then set the sugarcube on fire so it melts into the absynthe that way.
    Best way to drink it in my opinion.

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  7. Oooh, Sullivan, I'll have to try that! Love me a Sazerac. Best drunk in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Atmosphere is everything.

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  8. Oh, yesssss, Creme de Menthe in baking or hot cocoa. ~kisses fingertips~ Bon!

    Midori & Milk, the collegiate M&M! I'm still a fan of the Midori sour, and the whiskey sour, and the, well, any booze and sour.

    An excuse to mix liquor with fire? I'm all over it. If you don't hear from me next week, you'll know the green fairy became a green dragon.

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  9. LMAO...LOVE Sullivan's Green Dragon!

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  10. I am going to have to confess - I have never drunk (drank, drunken, drinked) any green drink, other than KoolAid. Unless Green Tea is green, which I guess it sorta is. Greenish. And not very exciting.

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  11. Ah, Kerry, green tea can be used as the foundation for a wickedly delicious punch. Mix with lime juice, limes, sugar, and Arrack over a big floater of ice.

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