Party Tricks. Or the Lack Thereof.

by Allison Pang

I'll be perfectly honest - I'm not much of a party goer.

Part of this is because I don't really drink. (Mostly for medical reasons.) Makes it a little hard to get into the scene sometimes.

Also, I'm really a bit of an introvert overall. Parties just aren't my thing.  (Or maybe I'm just going to the wrong sorts of parties. The last few were work related and...I just can't get into those at all.)

However, this picture is fairly apt. If I'm at your party and you have animals, then I become the god damned cat and dog whisperer.  I have a gravitational pull for the furry and the small like a small collapsing star.

Now, in my younger days (before all the funky back stuff), I could have probably entertained you with my odd double jointed jenga back and the sort of flexibility that allowed me to stand on two full sized yellow page books and still flat palm the floor when I bent over.  (Not too bad for someone who was not a gymnast.)

Or wiggle my ears so that my entire scalp moves back and forth.

Or fit my entire body through one 1/4 panel of a window. (Did that once when I got locked in a bathroom - the doorknob fell off the other side and I couldn't get out. Window was painted shut, but there was one pane out and I managed to get through that and onto the roof.)

And yes, I can still put my legs behind my head. (Back in the day I could walk on my hands at the same time...but that was probably like 20 years and 20 lbs ago? Yeah. >_<)

Alas, these days, if you're wandering around said party, you'll probably find me in the quietest, darkest corner alone with my crippled back. And the cat.