by Jeffe KennedyI have to warn you right up front: I'm lucky and I know it.
David is, as I often say - only when asked, because I do try not to brag - a prince of a man.
Oh, he's not perfect by any stretch. He often goes past five or six acceptable parking places before settling on the ideal one. He's slower paced than I am, takes longer to make decisions and can take an ungodly long time to tell a minor story. He can be grumpy and worries too much about things.
AND he's really bad about putting things back where they go. He puts them away - just in random places.
That one boggles me.
That's pretty much it for my litany of complaints. Which, I think, proves my point.
I never really expected to find a person I'd want to spend my life with, couldn't imagine what that guy would be like. I'm not a patient person. I like a lot of alone time. I hate television and noise and people wanting me to talk to them all the time.
And David totally gets me.
He doesn't talk to me when I'm writing (usually). He buys the wine I like and pours me a glass exactly when I want it. He'll go to the beach with me on vacation and is happy lolling in the lounge chairs and reading all day. He cooks, never complains about my substandard housekeeping and has never once, ever expected me to be someone that I'm not.
I think that's the key, really.
When people ask us how we've pulled off our nearly 21 years of harmonious togetherness, we'll say it's because we like each other. It sounds like such a simplistic answer, but it's true. He likes me and enjoys my company. I like him, too, and wouldn't change him.
(Except for maybe the thing about putting stuff away in random places.)
I suspect that's what the perfect man comes down to: the one who's perfect for you. The one who brings the something more into your life. When my girlfriends are struggling with whether to stay in a relationship, I've long posed this question: Does he bring more to your life than he takes away?
The price I pay in circling the parking lot and looking for things? Miniscule.
It's the more. The so much more.
=o) You're a lucky gal. Congratulations on 21 years with your perfect guy. I'm a lucky gal, too. It just took forever for me to find him. We're only at 7 years, but if we both live to see 21, I'll be even luckier.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found yours, B.E. - may you have many, many years together!
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!! :) "its the more"
ReplyDeleteBoth you and David are perfect partners for each other. Congrats on 21 years!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda!
ReplyDeleteNot quite 21 yet, Laura - no jinxing it!
Congrats on finding the key to happiness. I've been with my perfect guy for 27 years come January, and we're still having fun together.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people underestimate the "liking" part. Love is awesome and amazing. But if you want to really live with somebody for a long time - you better also like 'em.
ReplyDeleteHaving fun together is such a huge thing, isn't it, Gabi? Congrats to you also! (and he's a cutie, too!)
ReplyDeleteSo true, Kerry. Liking someone mean so much, as tepid as that may sound.
I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says "Happiness is being married to your best friend." And it's so true! I've been married to my best friend 32 years on Dec 1st. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
ReplyDeleteI love that, Stacy! and happy anniversary - that's so great!
ReplyDelete"Does he bring more to your life than he takes away?"
ReplyDeleteA great question. I have to ditto Kerry and Stacy.
Oh, and, Stacy? 32 years? HUGE congrats!
It can be so discouraging to witness how very many people miss out on lasting happiness with another person. So many things can, and do, go wrong. So it's doubly joyful to see things going right for a couple, and quadrupally when it's someone(s) you care about. I'm so very glad you've found your way to the place your are in. And, as always, my great admiration and sympathy go to David.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, Kev.
ReplyDeleteThanks, KAK - that question can reduce all the "buts" and "coulds" if the person will seriously consider it.
Random places to put things story: Early in my marriage, we were having friends over for dinner. The DH offered to do the grocery shopping. I gave him a list and off he went. He even put everything away when he got home. When time came to begin supper, I went to the cupboard. "Where's the taco mix?" I asked. He looked at me and shrugged. "Should be in there. I got it. I know I did." Not in the cupboard. Not anywhere. We tore that kitchen apart. Harsh words may have been traded before we calmed down and fixed something else entirely for dinner. I found the taco mix a week later. In the crisper drawer of the fridge.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Doesn't EVERYONE keep their taco mix in the crisper? Can't have it wilting, after all...
ReplyDelete