Sunday, April 14, 2013

How to Balance Chores and Deadlines

This photo really is apropos of this week's topic. I tweeted it after I managed to duck out Friday afternoon and get a mani/pedi. Frivolous, perhaps, but I'm headed to my college reunion this week and the RT Booklovers Convention two weeks after that - this is long-term prep.

All part of balancing my Things to Do and keeping all those balls in the air.

This week's topic is "Division of Labor: Who does what when deadlines loom." I know that several of our Word Whores live alone, so I imagine their posts will be along the lines of "WHAT freaking division of labor??" It is one of the great advantages of living with someone else - being able to share the load of the whole food and shelter thing.

For me, though, the deadlines don't really change much about how we handle stuff. I think that's because David and I have been together long enough (22 years) that we have a pretty good rhythm worked out between us. One of the reasons we harmonize so well is that we both value having a peaceful home.

This may sound like a no brainer, but it's a different value than many people have. Our house is usually silent - no TVs, no music - and we're often both working quietly on our projects. Neither of us likes drama. We rarely fight, we try to handle crises with as much grace and efficiency as possible. We had plenty of drama when the kids were teenagers; now, between the two of us, we keep things smooth and even.

We've traded some chore responsibilities back and forth over the years, but at this point he handles the meal-planning and cooking. We go to the grocery store once a week together and otherwise he handles additional shopping needs. He maintains the cars and household repairs. I clean, do dishes and laundry and handle the finances. This works really well for us and matches our personal rhythms. I don't mind spending the day cleaning house and doing laundry, but I really hate to have to stop working on something multiple times a day just to fix a freaking meal.

But this balance doesn't really change when a deadline is looming. My whole objective to dealing with book deadlines is to keep my progress steady and even. A few times I've told David I need to crunch and plan to spend an entire weekend writing - which he's always good about giving me room for - so that might mean the dishes pile up. I get to them eventually, though, and he never complains. When he was in school and had a big exam coming up, sometimes I offered to cook dinner. I'll do that, too, when he's not feeling good. I'm also still a better cook than he is :D so me offering to prepare a special meal is a treat.

Likewise, if I'm hustling to get out of town to fly somewhere, he'll often pop out to put gas in the car for me, clean the windshields and check the fluids. That kind of caring for me means more than flowers and chocolates ever will - though I like those, too.

I'm blessed to have the supportive and peaceful home life that I do. I remind myself of that when he TALKS to me at exactly the wrong moment.

Balance in all things.

10 comments:

  1. My division of labor is Me and the Cats. so you can guess who does what LOL! Enjoyed your post as always...

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  2. Ha! "Talks" at you, yeah my hubby does that too. Though I have to give him credit, since I started this writing venture (he was the one to put the idea in my head after all) he has really stepped up in the household department. He does a lot more of the cooking and tries to get the kids out of the house on the weekends to allow me some uninterrupted time.
    Having someone to help shoulder the load truly is a blessing. Hmm...I better go give him a kiss that may lead to more in my appreciation. ;)

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    1. Very nice. Tell him "you're welcome" for me. ;-)

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  3. Sounds like you've got a good plan between the two of you. =o)

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    1. Does *not* include checking for ticks, however!

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    2. Aw, come on. Sometimes the checking part is the most fun part.

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    3. You never know where you have to check, once maybe twice.

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    4. True love means being VERY thorough!

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