Saturday, October 4, 2014

Wrapping Up The Week on Trolls and Bullies

I've only had one really awful life experience with a bully, which was as an adult, in the workplace, and therefore I can't talk about it in any detail. Sorry. It was a truly stressful time in my life. At first I had no idea how to cope with the situation.

BUT, while it was occurring and in the many years since, I dealt with it by first of all, never letting the person in question or anyone else see how much it affected me. That's one of my main lines of self defense always - I'll tell you things are fine and I'll smile and carry on, be above it all and never give whoever-the troll-is the satisfaction of realizing how much I am being stressed. I may be dealing with the situation in other ways behind the scenes or whatever, but the troll/bully doesn't need to know that. The less they know, the better. This puzzles them, which is good, I think. I engaged with the person as little as possible. On-line, don't engage at ALL, is my advice.

I compartmentalized. This was a work situation. It didn't affect me as a mother/sister/friend. The people in the rest of my life, and I, carried on and because everything outside the day job is the truly important stuff, well then, I went home and renewed my energy and my happiness and inner strength every day.

Eventually it ended. I'll never be blindsided like that again. I realize things would have to be handled somewhat differently had this been an online troll, but other Word Whores have talked about that situation and given advice this week already.

I think Taylor Swift gets it pretty right in her song "Mean":

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