I'm lucky, I guess. I've not had to deal with trolls too much.
Not on-line anyway.
In real life, I have known more than a few poopyhead meanie-faces. And I knew a fella who said, when such folks started stirring shit up, "Cut 'em out of your life like the cancer that they are."
It isn't easy to do, especially if those toxic people are supposed to be friends, or--worse--if they are family. If someone is constantly a source of contention or of negative emotions, its time to evaluate the pros and cons of severing ties. If they are growing on you, sucking up your resources and giving nothing back but dis-ease...cut 'em out of your life. (Again, I know that in cases where the person is family this is sooo much easier said than done. And in cases of family, it is surely worth trying other avenues first. Such as learning how to spot their tactics and diffusing them. A good counsellor is worth your time in such situations.) That blocking feature on Facebook and on phones exists because, as KAK so delicately put it...Assholes happen. Listening to these people gives them power--the consideration of your mind. Don't give them that. Don't even read a text or an email. Email marked as spam never sees the light of your inbox and you aren't tempted.
I've done this. It isn't easy. They try to worm their way back in. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt because, well, you're nice. And they know that. 'Nice' makes for an easy target. But don't stop being nice and being you, because that would in a way let them win. Just educate yourself, as in learn to recognize the tactics of toxic and manipulative people, and put up the buffers.
Then live your life...happily. It's the best revenge anyway. :)
A couple of links:
http://www.manipulative-people.com/manipulation-tactics-a-closer-look/
http://self-love-u.blogspot.com/2013/02/100-traits-of-toxic-person.html
http://thehappysensitive.com/hsp-helpful-7-ways-toxic-people-convince-you-to-do-more-for-them-than-you-really-want-to/
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
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Exactly. Cut 'em out. No, it's not easy (especially with family), and you'll doubt that you made the right decision a hundred times, but when you realize life is so much better without their crap, you know you made the right choice. =o)
ReplyDeleteIndeed. I had to cut someone out. To this day, I have times when weakness creeps up on me. I'll see their picture maybe a few times in a short time span and my heart wonders if maybe its time.... But I don't act on that thought. I let the idea simmer. I rehash my decision a hundred times. And ALWAYS in that few days of reevaluating it all something invariably happens that I hear about, something that reminds my heart with utter certainty why my head had to make that decision for distance that keeps me emotionally, physically, and mentally safe.
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