Ladies: Don't Be The Con Troll

Anyone with an ounce of sanity will tell you not to feed the trolls -- not at Cons, not online, and not on bridges. Conventions of all types are instituting formal processes for reporting and dealing with trolls. Coordinators, volunteers, and attendees are raising awareness that sexual predators and bullies will not be tolerated.  While it is tragic that the groundswell against trolls is necessary, it is laudable that it is happening.

#NoConTrolls

Being the service-minded Word Whore that I am, I am here to remind our readers that you don't have to have a dick to be a dick. Any gender can cross the line. A leer is a leer. An inappropriate comment is inappropriate. Fondling, groping, and ass-pinching are beyond the pale.  Acts committed in a pack do not absolve the individuals.

~drags out soap box~

~prepares to dodge rotten tomatoes~

Alas and sadly, I've attended more than one Con in which women have been the trolls. Recent example? A handsome hotel employee was formally reprimanded by his employer for helping a workshop run by women for women that somehow devolved into them insisting the employee take his shirt off, pose like a cover model, and beefcake like a stripper.

Are You Turning Troll?

If "but what's wrong with what they did" just flitted through your mind, you might be turning troll.  If you're annoyed that the employer took action, you might be turning troll.  If "it sounds harmless," "it was just his shirt," "but they asked him to," or "he could have said no" comes to mind as a defense, you might be turning troll.

A convention isn't high school. You're not a college kid on Spring Break. If you're an author, go back and review last week's topic about why you should attend Cons. No where in seven days of suggestions and advice did anyone say "because you get to manhandle men." What one person thinks of as flirting another may view as sexual aggression. That's a lesson for all genders.

"But men like it" is no more an excuse than men saying "but women like it." 

Yes, I am aware that certain Cons bring in the hunksome (often shirtless) cover models as eye candy. A lot of trade shows bring in hot chicks in provocative attire. Many of the models are there for the express purpose of taking photos with attendees. ASK FIRST (and politely accept rejection if it happens). Yes, I know certain sponsors provide a male-stripper experience for their themed parties.  (Imagine the furor if the same was done with a female strip show!)  I am aware the prevailing notions are "it's harmless," "it's just adult fun," and "it's all consensual."

It is not an excuse to behave like an oversexed predator.

Lest you think you're safe from turning troll by locking down your libido, do not ping to the other extreme and revert to slut-shaming other women.  We can be horribly catty, wretchedly critical, and covertly cruel. You should be nothing of the sort when attending a Con.  "Pleasantly Professional" is a mantra worth repeating.

KAK's Top 5 "No Con Troll" Tips:


Tip 1: The Golden Rule applies at any and every Con. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to others.

Tip 2: If you can't say something nice ... smile instead (then walk away).

Tip 3: Resist Mob Mentality.  It is easy to get swept up in the moment and the atmosphere. Take a breather now and then to remember who you are and why you're there.

Tip 4: It's your reputation. Everything you do in public can be broadcast on Web.  If you wouldn't want "people you know" to see it, don't do it in the first place.

Tip 5: Have a good time (but not at someone else's expense).