Okay, dear readers. You want to know how to succeed at collaborative writing? Come 'round, come 'round. Let me share with you the secrets to playing with others.
Top Five Ways to
1) Get the other guy to develop the concept, then offer nothing but criticism in the most patronizing manner.
2) Write every chapter you owe in a different genre and a different voice.
3) When it's your turn for deliverables, be late. When it's their turn, start phone-bombing them thirty seconds past due.
4) Take over his leading character. Hell, take 'em all...right into an incinerator.
5) Publicly bash that monkeyboarding nimrod. The entire genius of the novel is yours. Yours. YOURS.
Wait, where are you going, dear reader? Don't you want to collaborate? I'm sure there are one or two bad habits you've encountered. You could share them in the comments below...
