Saturday, December 15, 2012

Thank you, trashy Christmas stories, for making me hate the holidays a little less!

I’m a holiday anthology convert. In fact, this whole week of posts is getting me even more in the mood for holiday smutty reading. And the thing is, I sort of hate the holidays!

Actually, there’s no sort of about it. I really hate them. I could give you a whole sad song and dance why I hate them, but I won't, because it’s boring, and holidays are hard for lots of people.

This year, I started dreading Christmas in September. I can recall going to the dentist and comforting myself with the thought that, okay, I have to go to the dentist but at least it’s not Christmas!!

Poor Christmas-loving Mr. Crane - I actually tried to downplay my hatred of the holidays for him early in our relationship. I tried to get into Christmas, because he loves it so, but it didn’t take.

OMG that is a great set-up for a holiday contemporary right there - the scroogey hero or heroine hides his or her hatred of Christmas from the beloved…listen, people, if you take this idea and write it, I will hunt you down with a candy cane!! I will maul you with a set of antlers!  The jingle of sleigh bells will the be last thing you hear. And it will be ironic on every level!

Ahem, where was I? Oh, right. These days Christmas-loving Mr. Crane totally knows I hate the holidays. But, I do try to get into it. If I like holidays at all it’s because of him, and because of the times we’ve played hooky from Christmas and done our own thing. I guess I like holidays a little bit better because of him. A little.

However, holiday stories and anthos are a way of me staking out a corner of the holidays for my own. Kind of me establishing a relationship with the enemy away from the bargaining table.

Maybe in a motel. Or the windswept Scottish highlands.

And maybe there’s international crime involved…or a vampire bearing gifts…or a meet cute…or perhaps somebody singing carols while wearing a kilt. And dirty sex!

Thank you, holiday stories, for making me hate the holidays a little bit less. And really, I don’t see holiday anthologies as any more marketing-y than any anthology. Or any book. How are holiday themed stories more about selling books and spreading stories than space travel or werewolf-themed stories in July? They’re not. They all go in the same category. Stuff I like to buy and read. Or, on occasion, to write and sell.

Give me my holiday plot devices. I’ll be over in the corner biting the heads off of Santa Christmas cookies, ereader in hand. 


  1. I love this post - you are so funny!

  2. Yeah, I spent a lot of years doing the 'Merry F'ing Christmas' thing. Now as long as the ham turns out right and my family has a happy day, it's a win. Have fun biting the heads off the Santas. ;o)