Second, WICKED CIRCLE will be released in 6 days!!! SQUEE!
Third, (for the charm...) Recently (read as: a few years ago) I traveled to a dangerous haven of malcontents (read as: my mom's house for the holiday get together). There, after many harrowing trials and tribulations (read as: conversations with family in close proximity to said family), I unearthed a recipe for something so wickedly, decadently rich I have obliterated the previous name, struck it out of time and space and have renamed it:
EVIL
Now I KNOW you'll read this and think, "So simple," or, "So innocent," or, "No way," but I SWEAR the words of the ingredients and instructions are deceptive. I am certain that somewhere in the process of this something straight out of the X-files happens. Time stops, a portal opens up while your world is frozen and demons appear with gum-drop fairies ensnared in some bizarre and tiny version of a torture rack and when the demons squeeze the poor little fey they weep and tiny little tears that fall into the mixing bowl dooming all who eat of the confection made to be slaves to the "just one more little piece" sweet tooth.
If you dare to make some for yourself all you have to do is this:
Set your oven to 400 degrees. (EVIL likes the heat.) Take out the 10x13 (or thereabouts) pan--NOT a cookie sheet. (Recommend sturdy pan, NOT foil.) This has to have at least short sides.
Grease the bottom and sides lightly. (Also ok to line pan with foil and spray the foil lightly with non-stick coating. Because, EVIL needs to be convenient to the way YOU like to roll.)
Line the pan with saltine crackers. Yes. Regular, ordinary /crackers/. (I said it was deceptive.)
Get out a small saucepan, melt 2 sticks of butter with 3/4 cup of brown sugar. Boil that mix for 3 minutes.
Spoon mixture(or carefully pour it) onto the crackers making sure to coat them all.
Bake for 5 minutes, remove carefully and scatter some almond slices (1/2 cup or more if you like)on top, then cover withchocolate chips (2cups; minis works best but regular chips are fine. Chocolate can be sinister in any size).
Wait a few minutes for the chips to melt, use a spatula to spread it around and let cool. (If you have space in the freezer, this cools it FAST.)
Cut 'em, break 'em...whatever, just eat 'em and discover that you can't leave 'em alone. That's the EVIL part.
Totally amusing blog, EVIL sounds decadently good! Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteThat does sound EVIL. Bwa ha ha. Too bad for your evil, I'm currently in the clutches of my own version of evil - peanut butter fudge. There are only so many sinister diet-killers one house can take.
ReplyDeleteStupid evil is always so darned easy. If there were a recipe for a cookie that made you thin, healthy and attractive, you would need hundreds of ingredients and hours to put it together and a super-collider to bake it.
ReplyDeleteVeronica--thanks. Have a great holiday.
ReplyDeleteB.E.--- love pb fudge. My ma makes it !
Kevin-- that might require a DeLorean as well.
Ha, Kev! I like Linda's DeLorean idea. Hope you enjoy an EVIL holiday, Linda!
ReplyDeleteSalty and sweet. Evil yummyness.
ReplyDeleteOh, I really like your brand of EVIL, Ms. Robertson. ~rubs hands gleefully~
ReplyDeleteFirst - Hurray for release day!!!
ReplyDeleteSecond - I make this stuff too, only under the mundane name of "soda cracker candy", lol. Evil is more appropriate by far. This year I used dark chocolate chips and sprinkled some sea salt on top. Even better. These things ROCK! (and hey - you stole my recipe I was gonna blog this !!)