Fie on the "politically correct" or "socially acceptable" names for "Significant Others." I don't care what strangers call a couple. I want to know what they call each other.
Snoogiewookums
Guys, I love pet names. The more dichotomous to the speaker or the intended, the better. Wha? Don't look at me like that. You know those types of names. Hearing them makes you do a double-take. Not the offensive ones (anybody can be an asshat), but the ones that are unexpected. Here are my top five:
- Cuddlemuffin -- as spoken by a man utterly devoid of outward emotion
- Swivels -- the moniker for a no-neck burly manly-man with a habit of wiggling on a bar stool like a five year old
- Russell -- as in Jack Russell Terrier, the yappy dog -- a name bequeathed by a woman who raised Irish Wolfhounds to her husband who made Barry White sound like a tenor
- Giggles -- Stone-Face would have been apropos, but each time this Wagnerian woman heard her beloved call that name, she, in fact, giggled
- Pants -- We all knew she wore the pants in the relationship, we just didn't expect him to turn our opinion into their intimate joke
My sister-in-law calls her hubs "Hunch." I'm told it dates back to his high school football days. For a long time, I couldn't even tell what word she was saying!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...well my boyfriend and I were called Scooby Doo and Shaggy, respectively, by his housemates a loooooong time ago. When I asked where on earth the inexplicably nicknames came from I was told that boyfriend = Scooby Doo for his love of Scuba diving (you see what they did there??) and I had become Shaggy after the previous nights particularly vocal lovin'. Yeah. Almost died of embarrassment. But lesson learned and not repeated whilst living in shared accommodation!!
ReplyDeleteCuttlefish - too funny! My husband used to have a pet name for me. Not sharing, I'm afraid.
ReplyDelete@Cuttlefish -- ~dies~ that is an awesome take on Scoobs and Shaggy.
ReplyDeleteJeffe, I can only imagine the many things you thought she was saying before she confessed to "Hunch."
Aw, Kerry, now you've left me no choice but to think of pet names for you and the Viking. ~evil laugh~
I try to think up all sorts of cutsie names to call my husband - because it makes him laugh. I think the most gag-worthy I've used is probably Oojie-woojums. Usually, we just call each other 'Sweet' - as in 'you're my Sweet'.
ReplyDeleteAw, B.E., there is a wealth of charm in "my Sweet"!
ReplyDelete