Perfection

by Allison Pang

Perfection is probably more of a state of mind than anything else, but I also think it's a sort of freedom to be able to choose what level of "perfect" is right for you.

Probably odd coming from me, considering I post images of "perfect" men on my blog every week - but it's more my way of catering to the female gaze then a true attraction to the bodies I'm putting on display. Beauty being more than skin deep and all that.

Years ago, I read an article that concerned a young woman who was seeking an arranged marriage. Within her culture it was an acceptable thing to do. She wanted to get married, but didn't want to deal with all the messiness involved with finding a mate.

So  her family sought out other like-minded families and she went through several sets of suitors. And she turned down quite a few, often based on things that people in love would probably not even remotely consider. (I seem to remember one man had a bit of dirt beneath his fingernails. Dealbreaker.) When the interviewer pointed out that it seemed like a rather petty reason to reject someone, the woman said that when one married for love, things like that could be overlooked. But her in case, the men had to be perfect for her to consider them since she wasn't going to have that initial connection.

Seems like a rather sad way to go about it. I often wondered if she stayed with whichever man she ended up with.

I mean, think about it - anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows after the butterflies have all flown away, you're left with bumpy reality. Things you maybe took pains to hide start to let go as you relax. Little habits that might have seemed endearing once can suddenly become tremendously annoying when you are exposed to them on a daily basis - I can't imagine that physical perfection would be much of a reason to stick around if the person beneath is a chronic mouth breather or is a total slob, or whatever it is that drives you batty.

So really, perfection is all relative. Sometimes what's perfect for you now may not be perfect for you later, but the point is that *you* get to define what that is. In the end, that's all that really matters.