Friday, November 18, 2011

Names Like Boxes

What I'm about to say, I say from within the confines of a tidy little relationship package that most everyone in western society finds very comfortable. I did the whole wedding thing, so I have the ring and the easy 'this is my husband, this is my wife' introduction set. There's no question of what to call my SO. Except...

I find it limiting. This man encompasses far more than 'husband'. And I find it insulting to insinuate that I own him in any capacity. Yeah, I know. The whole 'husband' and 'wife' thing is about sexual ownership, but what if we don't play that way? We're two individuals with lives and thoughts and dreams of our own. We love sharing a life, even when sharing it makes it harder - which it sometimes does.
There's no title on earth equal to the challenge of conveying all that. And really. When someone wants you make them comfy by asking you define your relationship? They just want to know who you're sleeping with. And that's no one's business but yours and the person you are actually sleeping (or not) with. Is there any difference between saying "This is my spouse" and "This is the person with whom I'm currently getting lucky"?


  1. That looks like the box that the huntsman was supposed to put Snow White's heart in.

    Or maybe it's just me.

  2. Ooh, interesting Kev. I was too busy wondering who all Marcella is getting lucky with...

  3. Sadly, in this era of disposable marriages, the attribute of "spouse" has lost its value. 3rd parties not only want to know with whom you're sleeping, they want to know whether they have a shot a you, the husband...or both.

  4. I hate boxes. Unless they are actually real life boxes with cool stuff in them. Not hearts, or people though.

  5. That's why I like the term "partner". It works for anyone, regardless of orientation. Plus, unlike "spouse", if you're of a certain bent, it can apply to more than one other person.