Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Decidedly Unrepentantly Flawed

by KAK

I am flawed. Imperfect.


Shocked, aren't you? Yes. I can hear your gasps, your cries of disbelief.

I can't maintain a dress size for more than six months. I don't recall my original hair color. My complexion fries in sunlight and grows its own strawberries. I've more cottage cheese Costco dairy.

I have hobbit feet.

They have to be waxed regularly lest someone toss me a ring point me towards Mordor.

That's the psychical me, the outside me, the me that people see. Am I zen with my flaws? Erm. No. Am I aware that regular physical activity could solve the dress problem? Is it possible to put down the dye bottle and back away slowly? Could I become bosom beaus with a dermatologist? Yes, yes, yes. Will I? Who knows. Would any of it last beyond the 'new me honeymoon'? After this many years with these flaws, I can confidently say ... no.

Why not strive for physical perfection?

'Cause I have other standards by which I measure happiness. Personal satisfaction is derived from how well I succeed at goals I define. These matter more than external perceptions of how I should look, what I should be doing, and with whom I should be doing it.

Does personal satisfaction exclude physical perfection?

The sloth in me would very much like to say "yes" and leave it at that. Physical perfection is a myth. Experts can't agree on "healthy." Industry "standards" are more fickle than individual taste. Commerce depends on us looking outside ourselves for happiness. In short, "perfection" is someone else's definition. 

Personal satisfaction is very real, very attainable, ... and personal.

Have I achieved my nirvana? No, but I'm getting there. It's not easy. It's not without frustrations, second-guesses, and WTFery. My quest is challenging enough that when I succeed, I'll know I didn't sell my dreams or myself short.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to wax my toes.

7 comments:

  1. "Personal satisfaction is derived from how well I succeed at goals I define. These matter more than external perceptions of how I should look, what I should be doing, and with whom I should be doing it."

    Awesome.

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  2. Hee hee! I love the hobbit toes. I agree with Alayna. Personal goals. Personal happy. I don't know anyone who was ever happy living up (or down) to societal expectation. So everyone else in the world, if you don't like what you see, stop lookin'.

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  3. I love this post, KAK. I agree with both Alayna and Marcella. Personal happiness should be everyone's main goal rather than striving to meet society's standards of beauty. Which, as we all know changes daily. As much as I'd love ot invent a time-machine to take me back to a time when full-figured women were considered goddesses, I'm too lazy for that. However, I'm happy with me, with being me. Anything else is lagniappe.

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  4. Wow - I'm just happy that my waxing regimen doesn't include my toes! ;-)

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  5. Oh, I love the support, ladies! Saves me from Smeagol conversations with self it does, it does, precious.

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  6. I adore this post. It rocks. I'm always and forever amazed by how many women can't do things because of how they will look, or who will see - and they miss out on so much. Be yourself. Be free. Celebrate what matters. Hurray!!! (See, you got me all excited now)

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  7. Awesome post. Self-satisfaction is just that and shouldn't be defined by anyone else. =o)

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