Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Weapon of Choice

ARR mateys, I betcha can’t guess what me fav’rite weapon be?

Seriously, having weapons implies one is prepared for a fight.

I’m not eager to get physical like that. But….

Personally, I’m slow to anger and quite passive. If confronted, I might actually retreat first, but once cornered and you’ve pushed me there—I will cut you with these lipsticked knives if I have to. Afterward, I’m done with you. Apologies will be accepted only in the rarest of cases. Not exactly dramatic, but when you cut rotten people out your life like the cancer they are…life gets better.

Trust me on this one. I’ve done it repeatedly.

The exception to this “rule” is my motherly instinct. Like I said: me myself, slow to anger…but speak ill of my kids and I’ll hand you your ass pronto. I once told my older brother off in a restaurant--in front of our mother--over his remarks about one of my sons(who was not present). He and his wife promptly left. Yeah, make me get the mommy claws out and they don’t retract easily. No one’s safe until they do.

So…as for physical weapons, your initial guess is probably correct. I own (and decorate with) swords. I own knives, guns, and when my father passed away, I got his brass knuckles. I also often wear my hair up and secured with a rather pointy chopstick. Heh heh heh. For a non-aggressive person, I can be well armed.

But not all weapons are of the metallurgic or even the eloquent locution kind.

I’m also a practicing witch. While I believe in the Three-fold Law, I also have defenses in place. I’ll advise you not to fuck with me, or you’ll be getting back a three-fold portion of that shit you served me. Count on it. ;-)

*ahem*

A kick ass song with some funny weaponry…