Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Weapon of Choice

ARR mateys, I betcha can’t guess what me fav’rite weapon be? fight

Seriously, having weapons implies one is prepared for a fight.

I’m not eager to get physical like that. But….

Personally, I’m slow to anger and quite passive. If confronted, I might actually retreat first, but once cornered and you’ve pushed me there—I will cut you with these lipsticked knives if I have to. Afterward, I’m done with you. Apologies will be accepted only in the rarest of cases. Not exactly dramatic, but when you cut rotten people out your life like the cancer they are…life gets better.

Trust me on this one. I’ve done it repeatedly.

The exception to this “rule” is my motherly instinct. Like I said: me myself, slow to anger…but speak ill of my kids and I’ll hand you your ass pronto. I once told my older brother off in a restaurant--in front of our mother--over his remarks about one of my sons(who was not present). He and his wife promptly left. Yeah, make me get the mommy claws out and they don’t retract easily. No one’s safe until they do.

knuckles So…as for physical weapons, your initial guess is probably correct. I own (and decorate with) swords. I own knives, guns, and when my father passed away, I got his brass knuckles. I also often wear my hair up and secured with a rather pointy chopstick. Heh heh heh. For a non-aggressive person, I can be well armed.

But not all weapons are of the metallurgic or even the eloquent locution kind. pentacle

I’m also a practicing witch. While I believe in the Three-fold Law, I also have defenses in place. I’ll advise you not to fuck with me, or you’ll be getting back a three-fold portion of that shit you served me. Count on it. ;-)

*ahem*

A kick ass song with some funny weaponry…

11 comments:

  1. Funny, but as a child, I always felt safer with my mom than I did with my dad. Why? Because I knew she would kick anyone's ass who threatened me (even Freddy Krueger). Those mommy claws are lethal!

    And now I feel incomplete because I don't have a set of brass knuckles *sniff*

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  2. Let's hear it for mommy claws! I recall my grandmother saying once that my mother, normally a sweet and cheerful person, turned into a raging lioness if anyone criticized me.

    Love my mom!

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  3. That's what mom's are supposed to do!!! The mommy claws (I think of them like Wolverine's claws and I know my mom had 'em) are a gift and responsibility given us when we push those adorable little buggers out. :-D

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  4. Before I read this I pondered what your weapon of choice would be and I figured it would have to be a wand/broom with a backup of a gun. I was partially right! lol

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  5. At first, I couldn't believe you didn't include Fat Boy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" video ... then I remembered it came out post-1980s. ~ducks~

    ~braces for 3-Fold retribution~

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  6. "If you don't defend your kids, who will?" - My own dearly departed mother.

    Those are words I live by. Great post today, and hats off to you from a fellow practitioner!

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  7. KAK--HAHAHAHA! Humor is not subject to the rebounding negativity!!! And, I have to admit, I don't off hand know who fatboy slim is--so you're on the nose! :-D

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  8. Heh - I was planning on posting that video tomorrow anyway, so you'll get a chance to see it. :)

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  9. Blessed Be, sister. Bad guys? Come on past the protective yarrow on the front door. The Baretta is loaded, cocked, and waiting for you on the other side. ;)

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