The Bairy Heast

by KAK

  

This is my bairy heastie. My constant companion. My breathing blanket. My furry source of endless affection.

My fart detector.

That's right, ladies and gents. Whenever the tropical fruit makes a toot, my brave beastie will bolt to the other end of the house. It's genius, really. He leaves the enemy in convulsions while he takes cover from the personal chorus. Yes, yes he does run faster if the flatulence belongs to him.

 

"Look, Mommy, a wolf!"

Bwwahaha. If only that child had known that looks are so very... yeah. Sure, he's a handsome boy. Big blue eyes. Cuddly soft fur. Doesn't bark. Charming, no? Not always. Gods forbid that you are in the middle of a people-to-people conversation and he has a stray thought. I said he didn't bark. This boy can sing an aria that'll put Placido on notice. Vociferous? Very much so. Vicious? Not even when threatened.

Not every Husky is Balto. 

Not every owner is a musher from Snow Dogs or Eight Below

It's hard to believe he went through three homes before he landed with me. First owners? The story of newlyweds, new house, and unexpected illness. Off he went to a asshat handyman, who left him chained to dumpster at a local eatery. After a short stint with Animal Control, he landed with the big-hearted Queen of Tchotchkes. One puppy + a house full of breakables = Come to Ma'ma.

Huskies are a little odd.

(I shall leave kibble offerings to the Earth Goddess -- little crunchy trails throughout the house. Please do not step on them, again.)

 

Huskies also are:

1. A family-oriented breed (I will permit each of you to give me your bowls. Now.)
2. Fun-loving (Let's make snow-angels together. What is "3:00 AM"? Come, you will love the blizzard. Promise.) 
3. Playful (Lookie, Mommy, I brought you a MOLE! See how well it fits in your shoe?) 
4. Energetic (Shoulders should dislocate on walks. How else will you see the SQUIRREL?) 
5. Perpetually affectionate (If I put my chin on "delete" key, you will pet me, yes?).

Huskies are attention mooches for whom there are no ethical boundaries: