This time of year marks the pinnacle of gluttony for me. No, no, it’s not the Valentine’s Day discount chocolates or the epic poetry written in conversation hearts. My weakness is…
Girl Scout Cookies
They’ve been a culinary constant throughout my life. My mother likes to say I was born in green diapers. Flatulence wise-cracks aside, what she means is I’m a fourth-generation Girl Scout. I hawked cookies from my Brownie years straight through Seniors. I competed for Top Seller in ways that would make Celebrity Apprentices cry. For my sweet sixteen, my mother gifted me with a Girl Scout lifetime membership.
Go ahead, take a moment to visualize my “are you effin’ kidding me” expression. I was sixteen. My face should have frozen in that slack-jawed sneer; after all, I was too cool for everything. My sister, being older and therefore omniscient, flicked me out of my pubescent funk with three little words.
Girl Scout Cookies
Visions of skipping through endless boxes of reds, purples, greens and blues drifted through my mind, causing my stomach to rumble. It was merely a matter of time before that dream came true, for whenever we were stateside, my mother was the Cookie Depot. She ushered truckloads of cookies into our garage. “Box-trucks” took on a sweeter meaning at the end of February. Where cars once parked would be transformed into a maze, a towering labyrinth, of cases of Girl Scout Cookies. Cookie Moms descended on our home at all hours of the day and night to pick-up their troop’s allotment. Panicked pleas for someone to bring more Tagalongs or Samoas to a booth sale were guaranteed every weekend during Cookie Season. For six weeks a year, I breathed Girl Scout Cookies.
When we were abroad, there were still Girl Scout Cookies. The Girls Scouts of America is everywhere American girls are. Did you know they have four world centers where girls can stay and attend seminars? That doesn’t begin to count the military bases where dependent daughters plan weekend excursions to another country using funds raised from the sales of cookies. Stateside and international troops do trip exchanges too, much of which is funded by cookie sales.
Girl Scout Cookies: Bad for Your Butt, Great for Girls’ Minds
Regardless of location -- Paris, France or Pairs, Kentucky – if you want to light up a loved one’s face, get them Girl Scout cookies as a “just because” gift. Want to thank deployed GIs, cops, or firemen for putting their asses on the line? Send ‘em Girl Scout Cookies. Can’t find Girl Scout Cookies? http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a labyrinth of sweet-smelling cases to dance through. Mind the trail of Thin Mints, eh?