by KAK
This time of year marks the pinnacle of gluttony for me. No, no, it’s not the Valentine’s Day discount chocolates or the epic poetry written in conversation hearts. My weakness is…
Girl Scout Cookies
They’ve been a culinary constant throughout my life. My mother likes to say I was born in green diapers. Flatulence wise-cracks aside, what she means is I’m a fourth-generation Girl Scout. I hawked cookies from my Brownie years straight through Seniors. I competed for Top Seller in ways that would make Celebrity Apprentices cry. For my sweet sixteen, my mother gifted me with a Girl Scout lifetime membership.
~crickets~
Go ahead, take a moment to visualize my “are you effin’ kidding me” expression. I was sixteen. My face should have frozen in that slack-jawed sneer; after all, I was too cool for everything. My sister, being older and therefore omniscient, flicked me out of my pubescent funk with three little words.
Girl Scout Cookies
Visions of skipping through endless boxes of reds, purples, greens and blues drifted through my mind, causing my stomach to rumble. It was merely a matter of time before that dream came true, for whenever we were stateside, my mother was the Cookie Depot. She ushered truckloads of cookies into our garage. “Box-trucks” took on a sweeter meaning at the end of February. Where cars once parked would be transformed into a maze, a towering labyrinth, of cases of Girl Scout Cookies. Cookie Moms descended on our home at all hours of the day and night to pick-up their troop’s allotment. Panicked pleas for someone to bring more Tagalongs or Samoas to a booth sale were guaranteed every weekend during Cookie Season. For six weeks a year, I breathed Girl Scout Cookies.
Mmmm, Cookies
When we were abroad, there were still Girl Scout Cookies. The Girls Scouts of America is everywhere American girls are. Did you know they have four world centers where girls can stay and attend seminars? That doesn’t begin to count the military bases where dependent daughters plan weekend excursions to another country using funds raised from the sales of cookies. Stateside and international troops do trip exchanges too, much of which is funded by cookie sales.
Girl Scout Cookies: Bad for Your Butt, Great for Girls’ Minds
Regardless of location -- Paris, France or Pairs, Kentucky – if you want to light up a loved one’s face, get them Girl Scout cookies as a “just because” gift. Want to thank deployed GIs, cops, or firemen for putting their asses on the line? Send ‘em Girl Scout Cookies. Can’t find Girl Scout Cookies? http://www.girlscoutcookies.org/
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a labyrinth of sweet-smelling cases to dance through. Mind the trail of Thin Mints, eh?
I sure spent my days in the GS cookie sales trenches. I even won a lunch at the Governor's Mansion in Denver! I know it's a tradition now and I know I'm the only one who thinks this way, but isn't the irony a little much now? Should Girl Scouts really be pimping sugar and fat? That said, I did buy a box of Thin Mints from the neighbor girl. It remains unopened...
ReplyDeleteTruckloads of boxes delivered to your door? Damn you, KAK, for living the dream.
ReplyDeleteOMG. THIN MINTS!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can eat a whole tube of 'em straight from the freezer in one sitting. :-D
**fingers in ears** Not listening.
ReplyDelete**shifts hands to cover eyes** I did not see this. I do NOT know that there are GS cookies available now.
Not that I am not into supporting them, I was one for years, Scouts Honor. But my neighborhood is blessedly filled with boys and no one in four years of livin here has come to my door to hawk cookies.
I've found them every year regardless.
LOL. KAK - always pimping something, right? If it's not books, it's the Girl Scout cookies. Samoas for me. And when I buy 'em, I don't share with the family. They go straight in my "hide the goodies" drawer. Although - the son is on to me. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh, Jeffe, it's all about the moderation of gluttony...and girls should sell things that are full of sugar with a hint of spice (or chocolate, chocolate always works).
ReplyDeleteLOL, Nancy! It was a little slice of hell that I couldn't just rip open a case when the urge struck. Nay, nay. Fortunately, my father succumbed to scent as well, and contributed heavily to the local troop sales. ~cough~
Alyana, I'm eatin' that other frozen tube...or making Thin Mint milkshakes, or crushing them into Thin Mint pie crust...mmm...
Linda, it's ingrained, a predator's need to hunt and acquire the wily cookie no matter where they lurk. I bet you hear their soft calls in the still of night.
Kerry, a girl's gotta earn the right to wear purple velvet, right? ~wink~ Samoas do well in the freezer, btw, right next to Alayna's thin mints, right behind that huge bag steamed brussel sprouts...the bag that no one dares to move. ~muuuwahaha~
Mmmm. I love thin mints. And samoas. And those tagalongs! I usually don't buy them because I have no self control, but this year I did and ate an entire box of tagalongs in one sitting. *shame*
ReplyDeleteI used to be a Brownie - never got up to the Girl Scout ranks, but I guess that's okay....
My daughter was a Girl Scout - not me. But I was Cookie Mom for one year. That was enough. I've never seen so many cookies at one time!
ReplyDeleteWe always ordered cookies. Then buy them from the groups selling at the store (as if we didn't have enough at home). Most end up in the freezer (out of sight...).
When I saw the order forms spring up at work this year, I checked to see how many we had left and realized we still had some from two years ago (my husband dated the ones we got last year). You'd think we wouldn't need to buy anymore. You'd think wrong.
I loved Girl Scout cookies, but I sucked at selling. So I loved camp, more. We'd go out to Girl Scout Camp with my folks two weeks before the start of season and work our butts off getting the camp ready. Wielding a hammer to repair cabins was way more fun than staying in them. As for cookies these days - allergic. Damn it.
ReplyDeleteAllison, you can't eat just one Tagalong. That cookie tray practically cries if you don't pay it suitable attention. We're all weakened by the sound of cookie tears.
ReplyDeleteStacey, you, my dear, are a brave woman to have been Cookie Mom. I tip my pimp hat to you.
Marcella, repairing cabins would have been a great experience for being a home owner, but I would have rebelled if I had been stuck on B.I.F.F.Y. maintenance.