Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Sex on the Brain = Sex on the Page

by KAK
Jeffe says it’s easy. Laura says it’s hard. I wiggle in the middle and call it:


Did you blink a few times before your brain figured out what I did, or are you still wondering what the hell a Harsy is? If you’re brain isn’t willing to go there, then you’re not going to get it. You sure as shit won’t find it funny.

That’s how writing sex scenes is for me. If my brain isn’t there, if it’s not in the moment, if it’s busy wondering if the knot in my nose is a crusty booger or a clump of snorted dog hair, no sex is going to happen.

Just like real life.

Any lover worth rug-burn knows that the brain has to be seduced first. Any writer worth reading knows it’s his/her job to make sure the reader is seduced before characters ever swap or smear spit. So, if the writer isn’t in the heady moment with the characters, then he/she needs to get there before the first squeezed breast; otherwise, it’s a dry hump. 

Nobody wants to be a part of that.

Now, contrary to what all our lusty blog readers may be thinking, the Word Whores don’t walk around in a perpetual state of sexual arousal. Nay, nay. Some of us may rise (or tumble) to the occasion with greater ease than others, but someone or something has to lure our brains out of the realm of propriety and decorum. 

Go ahead. Let the snort fly.

“Decorum” might not be the first word that leaps to mind when thinking of me, but I do have to function in the real world. How do I get my brain to shift gears? How do I, as a writer, seduce myself? 

I’m only half kidding. A good seduction engages the senses. The sort of smexy I’m afixin’ to write defines how I seduce myself. Is it a contest of wills, a physical game of control? There’s a shelf or three of fetish-focused fiction and non-fiction. The iPod has the BDSM playlist ready and waiting. The left-most side-table has the collection of clove and bergamot scented candles.  The closet awaits with a choice of costumes. 

Yeah. I go all the way there.

Wherever the minds of the characters are at that moment in the story defines the sort of sex they’re about to have. After all, a protagonist in need of succor after a tragedy might not respond well to an up-against-the-wall pawing fest. He/she might crave something slow, calm, yet very deliberate. Characters celebrating a victory might indulge in a playful bout of bumpin’ fuzzies or they might dare each other to push boundaries. Protagonists narrowly escaping death might be high on survival and ready for a buck-wild ride.

In short, writing good sex for a book is a lot like having good sex in real life.  

Both begin in the mind.

Image: from http://picture-book.com/content/book-worm Artist: Jim Caputo


  1. "Harsy" - Laughing and laughing! And you're absolutely right. Excellent points, all around.

  2. God you crack me up! "Any lover worth rug burn." There's a phrase that resonates. LOVE IT! :-D

  3. Great post. I loved Harsy! That's freaking awesome! The rug burn---ROTFLOL....Loved this. Thanks for the post.

  4. LOL Loved it!! I'm with Linda "Any lover worth rug burn"...gah!! Every point you made is absolutely true. LOL

  5. *scribbles to add "harsy" to my vocabulary*

    And now..."She Bop" is running through my head. Hee.

  6. ~bows~

    Thank you, all. The Harsy and I live to entertain; though, it prefers the Divinyls "I Touch Myself" for wooing the rug-burn worthy.

  7. Totally agree, KAK. I've read so many books with different levels of sexytimes, but for me it's always been about the characters. If I was invested in the characters and their relationship, I found myself much more interested in the smexy stuff - even if it wasn't all that detailed.

    As much as I like writing it, I don't enjoy writing (or reading) smut for smut's sake.

  8. Okay. This is great - if costumes and music will make sex scenes a tad less awkward, I'm all for it. Now. About that play list...

  9. Now I know why writing that love scene at work just wasn't working! Ha Ha!

    And yes, I write at work when I ain't got nothin' else to do. I don't let idle time pass me by!

    Thanks for the laughs today!

  10. Oh, what an awesome post is this. I laughed, I nodded, I applauded. And KAK, you will be interested to know that this is exactly what the Viking says about sex - it's mostly all in the head.

  11. Okay, y'all are going to make me have to go get a Viking costume...should I get the stiletto or the wedge heel on my fuzzy boots?